My 7 Week Old Baby Sleeps 6 Hours At Night The Sex Factor – Romance With Your Spouse After Children

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The Sex Factor – Romance With Your Spouse After Children

You know you’re a mom when you promise your man tonight is the night, but you happily go to bed, relieved that he fell asleep on the bed .

Not to gossip or anything, but when a friend of mine visited recently we had a conversation about sex after a baby. Little by little her sexual drive has returned as her hormones have balanced out after the pregnancy. Her four-month-old baby sleeps happily in her own room now, giving mum and dad some privacy. Doing better than I did, she enjoys sex, but said lightly, “We did it last night, so I’m off the hook for a few days”. At the same time we both laughed, kindred spirits because right now sex was not the most important thing on our list.

Like many of my posts, I ran the idea in “You Know You’re a Mom When…” this week, past my husband. Feeling somewhat amused and spot-on with my comment, I repeated it with a half smile as I laughed at my own personal mistake. There was a kind of dead silence in the room. “That’s not so funny” he replied, and he didn’t like what I said. “Come on” I replied, again proving what I know so many women can relate to and laugh at. He wasn’t at all convinced or interested, and just gave me that look as he walked away.

In their own way of evoking humor and cliché, men have been complaining about sex after marriage since the beginning of time. However, it started me thinking less about my disdain for him and more about his need and desire as a man and as a sexual creature. Most people know and agree that men need sex as a psychological part of their code and makeup. Women’s feelings and personal opinions often override what men need and allow them to forget or overlook this so-called need in their daily lives (me in that group).

So juggling everything we do, not feeling up to it and really needing/wanting/wanting to sleep, how do we create that exciting spark to to burn the fires again?

In my search for ways to improve sex with your husband I came across eHow.com. They suggest things like talking about your fantasies to get motivated, being spontaneous and having sex somewhere dangerous, or maybe creating a home video or photo album for his eyes only. Great ideas, but who has time for that? (I clicked on that site because it was obviously written by someone without kids). To their credit though, they suggested, 1) Talk about it! Yes, with him or her, not with your friends, not with anyone else. It is absolutely amazing how many lovers just do not communicate openly and honestly with each other about what is pleasurable about sex.

Expert Michael Webb, author of 500 Lovemaking Tips, offers 10 ways to reignite the magic in your relationship:

1. A SPECIAL GIFT SEND TO AN EVENT

2. BE HAPPY

3. HAVE FUN WITH WATER

4. MASK WITH A TWIST

5. RETURN OF FOLLOWING MEMORIES

6. LOOK AT THE THINGS

7. Walk along the beach

8. BRING A PICNIC ON A HOT SUMMER’S NIGHT

9. show that you are grateful FOR YOUR PRINCE

10. SPIRIT FOR THE GAILD

I’m not sure if he has kids either (who’s watching them while I’m looking at the clouds?), but at least he’s getting closer and his tips are spot on.

Then, I found this site, http://CharmYourWife.Com. Robert Steele writes that if men want more sex with their wives, they need to start educating themselves about the do’s and don’ts of a woman’s emotional state. “When your wife feels comfortable, that you know that you really love her for who she is and of the billions of women in the world, that you only want her, you may get more you can of sex. hand”! He also says, “To romance your wife makes her feel special – like she’s the most special women in the world to you. For romance, your wife wants you to still be “courting” her – like she’s still “chasing” her to win her heart.”

My favorite quote from him is “when a husband knows how to please his wife emotionally and romance her, she will naturally want to please him. That’s how women are “wired”.

I found it interesting that although I know my husband needs sex and we can do “things” to improve it, creating a mental and emotional connection is the key to that locked door. It also made me realize that I have the power to create that connection myself. When my husband comes home and I immediately tell him how my son put a dent in the wall, the property taxes came and I didn’t have time to dye my hair, he just pulls back and scatters . So it’s up to me to have more light conversations and less complaining. More about what was good in the day, what things worked out and the events that made me happy and bring joy to the children. He would then want to repeat the gesture, to feel open to listen and free to share back. Everything I really want and the beginning of creating the closeness we both want.

I will get back to you on how well it works. In the meantime you might want to send this post to your husbands and see if any of the suggestions are interesting to him.

stand on my soapbox,

JB

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