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Book Review – Lift – Becoming a Positive Force in Any Situation
Book: Lift: Being a positive force in any situation
By Ryan W. Quinn and Robert E. Quinn
Berrett-Koehler Publishers 2009
After reading Robert E. Quinn’s book, Change the World: How Ordinary People Can Achieve Extraordinary Results, I thought to myself, “This man wants us all to be saints!” Why? Because Change the World outlines eight “seed principles” that if deeply accepted and applied naturally lead to a course of compassionate action on behalf of others.
Robert Quinn’s new book, Lift: Becoming a Positive Force in Any Situation, which he co-authored with his son Ryan Quinn, an assistant professor at the Darden School of Business at the University of Virginia, deepens that path to “holiness.” Lift describes a way for us to become immediate positive change agents in any situation we encounter by asking ourselves four basic questions: 1) What is the result I want to create? 2) What would my story be if I lived the values I expect from other people? 3) How do other people feel about this situation? 4) What three (or four or five) strategies could I use to achieve my purpose for this situation?
Robert Quinn, who holds the Margaret Tracy Collegiate Professorship at the University of Michigan and is a professor of management and organization in the Ross School of Business, has written sixteen books. Considered an innovative thinker and authority on progressive change processes, he developed the ACT Progressive Change Theory – which the Parent Coaching Institute uses as the foundation of our successful parent coaching model. The four questions discussed and encouraged in Lift provide a basic focus for applying ACT more closely to everyday activities when the business of life can often get in the way. our good intentions to be kind, thoughtful or proactive.
How do people change and how do they do it deeply and sustainably to promote transformative changes in society? is a question that captures our human desire to make a positive difference. Robert Quinn’s books can be counted on to answer this question and answer it effectively. Now in Lift, together with his son Ryan, the two provide a practical framework to keep that nostalgia alive and complete. Lift is defined as “a psychological state in which a person is purpose-driven, internally driven, other-focused, and externally open.” This dynamic inner state keeps us “raised” and thus makes us reliable builders of others. And soon, as the authors show, our sphere of influence comes in with assertiveness and competence – we naturally become role models for others as we enthusiastically take on the self-control necessary to monitor and change our psychological states. “As in, so out,” has never seemed heavier as I pour over the wisdom in this book.
The book begins with an informative overview of positive affect and the psychological state. As the Founder and CEO of the Parent Coaching Institute who has been working with parents for over 30 years, I was struck by one of the stories in the first chapter by Ryan in which he explains using the four questions with his son Mason, who is 6 years old. When dealing with a child who has behavioral issues such as Mason’s ongoing tantrums, apparently, it is completely natural and normal for parents to be outside of this graceful psychological state. In fact, it is only a human impulse to coerce, force, and struggle for control as the situation spirals out of control. Parent and child become more withdrawn, more demanding and often angry. It’s a mess. We’ve all been there as parents. Finding our way out can affect our relationship with our child as parental advice is usually to “be in charge”; or “Speak firmly and stand your ground,” shutting our children down even more… What parental advice would we have: “Walk a mile in your son’s shoes?”
The power of the construct is to focus deeply on how the other is experiencing the situation while we stay focused on our purpose and integrity. As Ryan explains how he tried hard to understand his son, he received a glimpse of intuitive insight that led to a blessed moment between father and son, deepening understanding and respect for both of them. Throughout his story about Mason, Ryan describes how using the four questions brought him more in touch with his intuition and personal agency. It’s a moving story and it really shows how a lift can make a positive difference not only immediately but in the future, too.
I won’t spoil the story for you by telling everything. You must read it. Beyond the sweetness is the great power in surrendering and allowing true connection to happen. At the PCI, we strive to help parents connect authentically and have found successful strategies rooted in the principles of Impact Research and Living Systems. The authors place an important level here. Yes, while highly prescriptive parenting formulas often work to solve the immediate problem, a strategy of proportion (rather than strategy of performance) as found in Lift is difficult to translate into practice practical for parents. Well, two business professors have done just that. Parent educators and parent coaches need to take note. With the background of the book’s four main questions, a practical framework, questions, and strategies can be developed to bring out the best in any situation—even cranky six-year-olds given to tantrums normal.
Chapter Two introduces the science, history and metaphor of construction. Here the reader will find an easy to understand graphic that shows a framework of competing values, often used for organizational efficiency. It includes an understanding of the interaction between cooperation, control, creativity and competitiveness. For example, the value of cooperation often competes with control. Discipline is needed at times to move forward, to make decisions, but collaboration is a powerful tool for productive teams. And while competitiveness in the market is vital, it often hinders the creativity of individuals within the organization to compete effectively. Bob and Ryan Quinn use this framework to move from deep change to the psychological state of construction, adding four key questions to each of the four competing values. Discipline enables a person to be guided from within, checking his or her integrity. Cooperation keeps us focused again, to see others as people with valid needs, feelings and desires. Creativity allows us to stay open outside. And competitiveness enables us to keep our purpose, which is usually used to create amazing results. This chapter is extremely helpful in understanding the interaction between and among the four questions, demonstrating the dynamic energy inherent in execution.
Chapter 3 provides an overview of ways to move from problem solving to what the authors call “finding reason.” This is a very encouraging way of looking at challenges, and it fits beautifully with the idea that our challenges, although they are always there, do not have to drag us into despair or alienation. The chapter sets the stage for the next eight chapters – the heart of the book.
These chapters are packaged around the four basic questions. For example, Chapter 4 explains how to focus more on purpose, and Chapter 5 looks at ways we can get out of being purpose-driven. Together, the two chapters provide a wealth of information for living within our purpose and answering question 1): What results do I want to create?
The next two chapters focus on being more internally driven, and supporting our lives through the values we expect from others. Chapters 8 and 9 explore how to truly understand how others feel about a situation we would like to change. An important part of focusing on others according to the Quinns is not fearing feedback from others. This is a common human barrier to positive change and the authors normalize our fear of feedback, allowing us to use our fear for deep curiosity about ourselves and people. other than through anxious judgments that have no real profound change effects.
Chapters 10 and 11 help us think about being more open outside. In Chapter 11 there is a table summarizing the characteristics of a lift. This table is an easy reference tool for the important parts and qualities that keep us focused on purpose, internally driven, other-focused and externally open. By looking at the table, readers identify effective strategies for living in these states as opposed to “comfort-based, externally directed, self-centered and internally closed” states. ” They are the easiest to return to – especially when dealing with our children’s tantrums or too many bills to payor other common daily stresses.
Despite all the challenges, Robert and Ryan Quinn want us to be more fully present – more deeply involved – more fully thinking around. They urge us to move from “comfort seekers” to “opportunity creators;” from spectators to fully active participants. Although this is not exactly holiness, it is still hard work, worth every laborious moment – not for our reward in Paradise, but for those daily rewards like when the children of us melting in our arms after melting and showing us that they know who we are, that they know that we love them beyond measure, and that everything is fine. Pure heaven! And Lift will bring us many more such moments. Count on it!
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