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What Should You Do If Your Spouse Is Ignoring You After Your Affair?
I sometimes hear from couples who are shocked to be completely ignored after they cheat or discover their affair. Often, they know that they deserve their spouse’s anger, but they are afraid that their spouse is going to continue to ignore them and that this could mean that the their deception contributes to their marriage being over for good.
I heard from a wife who said: “I admitted that I cheated on my husband because I couldn’t stand the guilt anymore. And, at the end of the day, I wanted to come clean until I could save my marriage. But I didn’t expect him to kick me out, that’s just what he did. He barely said a word and showed me the door. However, it’s been over a week and he won’t take my phone calls or return my texts. I showed up at home the other day and he came to the door and shook his head as if to say no, he wouldn’t let me in or even acknowledge my presence. Through the door, I asked him if he was going to forget me forever and he just shrugged his shoulders and turned and walked away go away. I understand his anger, but I hate being brought up. I will try to answer these questions in the following article.
As hard as it may be, it is often in your best interest to give your spouse space: I know this is a difficult situation. Many people tell me that they would rather have their spouse scream and yell all kinds of insults than ignore them. I understand this because, even if your spouse is angry with you, at least they feel enough to get a response, even if it is negative.
But if they don’t seem to get much emotion and are avoiding you as a result, you start to wonder if this is going to go on forever or if they’ve checked out. done completely. I understand feeling this way, but I understand that your spouse tends to reel and may be unsure of how they really feel. As someone who has been cheated on, I can tell you that you often feel very different from hour to hour. Sometimes, you are angry. Other times you are hurt. And there are plenty of times when you are confused. And, when your spouse keeps showing up wanting you to talk to them, this can make things worse for you, which brings me to my next point.
How to deal when your spouse won’t stop listening to you after you’ve been caught cheating or having an affair: I know it might be tempting to try to get your spouse involved or get angry with them just to give them a taste of what this feels like. But try to avoid negative emotions directed at them. This is not their fault. In fact, it was your actions that set this off. If you want to save your marriage with your spouse, it’s really better to have some patience and focus on their well-being rather than your own.
They may never ignore you, but let them end this relationship on their own terms. They deserve to be able to set the pace at their own comfort level. Many spouses in this situation tell me that they are not sure how to proceed. They want to understand and respect their spouse’s need for space. But, at the same time, they don’t want to get out of their spouse’s life so quickly that it seems like they don’t care.
There is indeed a fine line. My advice is to avoid face-to-face confrontation until you are invited. It may be painful and confusing for your spouse to see you showing up at their house unannounced trying to gauge your attitude. Instead, you may want to reach out via text, email, or send flowers or cards. But don’t hesitate about it. Instead of sending messages that say “how long are you going to miss me,” or “you can’t avoid me forever,” you want to keep the message to someone who is supportive rather than to be under pressure. You might want to say something like “I appreciate that you don’t want to see or talk to me right now. But I just want you to know that I love you and that I care about you.” ‘ interested. talk or if you have any questions, I will be available to you at any time. If there is anything I can do to help you heal or to give you any relief, no you just have to say the word.”
Can you see the difference? You are signing in to show you care and offer support and reassurance. But you don’t put pressure on them or try to make them feel guilty or selfish for their loneliness.
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