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Stress Managment: 12 Universal Laws for Managing Anger
1. The Law of All
It’s not necessarily wrong to be angry. You will be angry, I will be angry, all God’s children will be angry. It’s what we do with our anger that makes the difference.
2. The Law of Stress
Although we don’t often think of anger as a form of stress, it is one of the biggest and most damaging forms of everyday stress. Manage your anger, and you manage a lot of your stress.
3. The Law of Choice
Anger is rarely if ever an automatic response. It is a choice. It is a choice because we have to think about something before we get angry.
4. The Law of Influence
We all have beliefs about how the world and the people around us should behave. When these beliefs are violated, anger is a natural, and sometimes rational, response. The problem is, when we “should” on someone, it can be a trigger for our anger.
For example, if we run the sentence “that driver shouldn’t have cut in front of me” over and over in our heads, the response is unlikely to be nice. At best we raise our blood pressure, and at worst we do something stupid.
5. The Law of Blame
Another one of our thoughts that quickly leads to anger is involved
blaming someone or something. There are two fatal steps in the blame dance:
1) someone is at fault, and
2) they should be punished – anger can be very punishable.
6. Law of Reason
This one is closely related to the law of guilt. There is a myth in our culture that few people question. The best example is the phrase “he made me angry.”
Well, bull! No one can anger us without our cooperation.
7. Law of Sovereignty
Another myth is that if we manage to express our anger, it will
reduce automatically. That is not necessarily so. I once saw a neighbor stopping around the side of his house, complaining and swearing as he went. Stopping with the air conditioning unit, he smashed a fist down on top of it. Not only did that move make him angrier, it seemed to me that it hurt a lot too. Moaning and swearing even louder, he stomps into his backyard and kicks a lounge chair. He didn’t seem calm
down, and that man seemed to be hurt too. I found out later that he broke both his arm and leg on his romp around the garden.
8. The Law of History
In almost all cases, anger is a secondary emotion. In other words, we experience another strong emotion before we feel the anger. Follow the source and you usually come up with one of three strong emotions – fear, frustration or hurt, or a combination of the above. Deal with fear, frustration and hurt and you can cut off anger at the pass.
9. Law of Battle
Learn how to choose your battles. If you get angry at everything, your anger means nothing. If that sounds confusing, here’s an example: what would gold be worth if we all had it in abundance? That’s right, not much. Gold is valuable because it is so rare. If you are always angry, people will stop taking you seriously and just avoid you.
10. The law of value
Ask yourself this question: “Is this situation worth being angry about?” It’s usually not straight.
11. The Law of Muscles
Learn how to exercise the muscles of your choice. We can choose to be angry or we can choose another way to handle the situation.
12. Law of the channel
When you get angry, channel it into something you can use to your advantage, such as motivating you to change what can be changed.
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