My 6 Year Old Son Keeps Saying He Is Scared Teachers Disciplining Children in School – Is Their Reaction Positive Or Negative?

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Teachers Disciplining Children in School – Is Their Reaction Positive Or Negative?

Teachers often say that they are worried that discipline will lead to children who do not like them and are afraid of them. In fact the opposite is true – children do not react negatively to being disciplined. How come? A recent example illustrates the truth strikingly…

In the village I met a group of young children. If you weren’t so charitable you might have referred to them as a group, but they weren’t threatening or intimidating so ‘group’ is an appropriate description. The sun was bright so it was difficult to recognize them.

As they got closer, one of them let out a cry and ran towards me… Trouble in the store? No, not at all! He was a very happy 11 year old boy throwing his arms around an adult he recognized and liked very much. ‘Mrs Marsden, I haven’t seen you for ages’… It was Jack, who was a pupil…

He proudly said that he is doing great at school and how he is looking forward to moving to high school later this year. Well, apart from wearing a sweater and tie! Jack explained how many friends he has – another thing that makes him very happy. It was obvious that the group he was happy with was in his company.

How do I know Jack?

Jack was a disaster a few years ago and was kicked out of the Children’s School because of violence, conflict and unrest. Teachers couldn’t do anything with him. He was only 6 years old and was written off virtually at school. The teachers were in despair – nothing they did affected his terrible behavior.

The ‘Uncle Tom Cobley and all’ brigade came in and after they had finished their numerous meetings and their behavior management advice had failed, Jack was pointed in another direction… Behavior unit …

Jack’s first day was a problem for him… When he was asked where his reading book was, his answer would have been anatomically impossible! The answer he gave told him, very clearly, that such language would not be allowed and if he wanted to get ahead he had better change his language and behavior very quickly! It was quite obvious that no one had ever challenged his behavior before. He got a very clear message that he had better improve his opinion.

However, once a problem was tackled with Jack he soon learned that he was done with it. All the time he was doing the right thing he would gain a lot of confidence and reassurance. Follow the very simple rules and life would be good.

Jack couldn’t read very well at all and when you gave him maths work he would literally shake with fear – I’ve never seen a child react so negatively. He had deep fears that needed to be recognized and dealt with. Adults should be incredibly understanding when any child has educational difficulties but should have no tolerance for bad behaviour. Adults should refuse to make excuses for bad behavior and stop it in its tracks before it has a chance to catch on at school – or anywhere else for that matter!

There is no magic in managing children’s behaviour. It’s a matter of following the right behavior management strategies, at the right time and in the right way. So, is Jack an unintelligent child? Of course not – but he was very well educated and so typical of so many children who displayed serious behavioral problems. He could not do the basic tasks, he was frustrated and falling behind in his studies every day he was at school.

Jack now found himself in classrooms where there was no tolerance for outrageous behavior – a euphemism for strict? However, he also realized that adults were willing to work with him to ease his fears about learning. He was expected to work hard and independently but soon he started to see good results.

What was Jack’s reaction to this new knowledge? He blossomed and began to enjoy learning. This was not transferred to his regular school at first because that could only happen when mainstream adults learned how to manage behavior effectively. The adults there had to learn how to control him and manage his behavior – something they hadn’t done before.

Therefore, Jack’s greeting for a ‘strict teacher’ at today’s meeting was a good example of how a child in the long term dealt with boundaries and limits on behaviour. A completely positive response and a child who will welcome you with open arms – and in front of his friends! What a danger his group could face standing with his friends!

Children desperately need limits and boundaries to be placed on their behavior. Teachers could have stopped so much of Jack’s misery by dealing with him properly long before he got completely out of control. Of course they should have taken action as soon as he started behaving badly.

Any teacher can learn to deal with the Jacks of this world – or better yet prevent them from becoming like Jack was in the children’s school. It’s what being an adult is all about. It is the responsibility of adults to protect children from growing up without the necessary discipline that will allow them to mature with confidence and the right level of self-confidence. All adults should be able to manage children’s behavior confidently and effectively – it’s really not that difficult.

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