My 6 Year Old Son Keeps Saying He Is Scared How To Benefit From The Negative Feelings of Divorce

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How To Benefit From The Negative Feelings of Divorce

Negative emotions can take over how you feel, especially in the area of ​​divorce, They can lead to emotional and energetic drain.

The main exception is anger, which gives your adrenalin an immediate boost, often causing you to react in ways you may later regret.

Negative, or “dark”, emotions are normal. What you do with the feeling of consumption is what makes a negative or positive difference. Most people usually deal with their emotions based on their subconscious fear. When you learn to be more aware, you can make a different, more positive choice.

When my child was about three years old, I vividly remember her mother out of the blue refusing to talk about the custody schedule. She then ordered in a completely controlling manner that we were to go according to the custody schedule of the divorce order. She was not asking my opinion as another parent. She wasn’t bringing it up for debate. She did not share her opinion.

She was ordering in a threatening manner.

The divorce decree stated that the custody schedule for our three-year-old child would be every other day. Yes, every new day she would go to the other parents’ house.

The terrible irony is that this gave zero stability, zero consistency and was terrible for a little three-year-old.

I felt betrayed, shocked, more than frustrated. I immediately felt the anger rising to the surface. I could not believe that the mother of my little daughter could be so self-serving and not understand how bad this would be for our child.

After dealing with extreme anger several times, I suddenly realized that my anger was only making the situation worse.

I finally realized that the moment I accepted it with anger, that I had lost control of myself, the interaction with the ex, and that she would never do what I wanted.

I worked on finding out what I really wanted to create for my three year old and realized that I wanted to create a divorce environment where she thrived. Then I knew that this had to be the most intentional and best parent I could be.

And, regardless of the situation with the ex, why would I ever want to be anything but the best parent I could be!

This is when the dynamic between us started to change for the better.

Why and how? Because the ex was no longer getting the reactions she had been expecting from me. I broke the vicious circle and began to live calm, even reasonable!

Over time, the old person began to move as well. I believe that the positive impact on our daughter was life changing for her, but also for her mother and me.

The biggest lesson for me was realizing that anger, one of the worst “dark emotions” as I call them now, is normal, but when we let our fear be forces us to react in real ways, rarely anything positive. result. The negative impact affects you, your children, the ex and even beyond.

Whenever I felt the emotional and energetic drain of anxiety, stress, worry, sadness, feeling miserable, and more, or felt the adrenaline spike from anger, I became more and more aware I didn’t want to feel this way.

I would immediately move to focus on how I wanted to feel and I would use gratitude to move into the positive feeling or state.

Gratitude and fear cannot exist at the same time.

I would not only focus on the positive and wonderful things in my life that I could be grateful for, but I would also change my perspective on the challenge or problem with the ex and the look for ways I could learn and grow.

I am always grateful to find ways to learn and grow, because those lessons and the growth that happens, are life changing for me and the people I love. The Ripple Effect can even continue outward, positively impacting my business and beyond!

Whether you’re going through a breakup or already divorced, negative feelings are normal. However, when they get out of control, they can be all consuming.

How we feel leads to what we say and do.

When we deal with a negative emotion that we feel at the moment adding more fuel to the fire to make things worse, it needs to be a wake-up call.

How we feel is ultimately a choice. Yes, even when the ex has said or done something to hurt you on purpose.

There is an endless list of “negative emotions, especially in the area of ​​divorce and parenting:

• Fear, frustration, anger

• Anxiety, stress, worry

• Sadness, sorrow, regret, guilt

• Regret and regret

• Sense of loss (trust, security, stability, self-esteem, sense of family, self-confidence)

• Depression, confusion, denial

• Disrespect, bitterness, discouragement, disgust

• Jealousy, self-pity

• Negative expectations and expectations

• Suffering, despair, contempt, sense of helplessness

• Sadness, mourning, self-doubt, anxiety, feeling hopeless

• Vengeful, traitorous, miserable, over it

• Heart broken, unhappy, unfulfilled

• Feeling like you’re always walking on eggshells

As you can see from the list above, there seems to be a series of “dark emotions” that can sap all your energy, steal your joy and happiness, bring you to the depths of hell, and will affect you emotionally and psychologically. on you, and worst of all on your children.

What you say and do is always a choice. It is so important to be aware of your negative emotions.

What you consciously choose to do with these feelings is much more important.

There are several key points here…

1. What you focus on, you create more of (ah, the Law of Attraction).

2. When you are clear about what you want for your children, this will do as much as anything to help guide you in maintaining self-control and knowing what to say or do. you next to help you create more of what you want rather than what you don’t want.

• When you realize that everything you say and do as a parent teaches and influences your children, you can begin to discover what it takes to create an environment where your children thrive.

3. Being grateful for the challenges you are going through (yes, in your divorce situation) allows you the opportunity to learn and grow through insights and lessons about life’s problems, the most impactful way learned and grown.

Get crystal clear on what you want to create for your children and what you want to teach through your example.

To help you gain Clarity, right now go through the free EX-Factor Clarity Exercise.

Go to: http://www.theex-factor.com/clarityexercise

Password to access is “clarity1”

Start by asking yourself, “What do I want to create for my children?”

From now on, when you feel the emotional drain from a negative emotion, or the sudden spike in adrenaline when you are about to explode with anger, ask yourself, “Am I to say or do, create more of what I want to say. I really want for my children, or make the situation worse?”

Use each interaction as an opportunity to take the “dark feelings” to find the light at the end of the tunnel that will help you learn and grow, for the sake of your children, and also for you.

After all, don’t your kids deserve it and you need to be the best parent you can be?

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