My 6 Year Old Son Is Singing I Hate Myself Depression – There is Hope

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Depression – There is Hope

Depression is a miserable disease for the millions of people who struggle with it. I know, I’ve been going through it for the past five years. During this time my life fell apart and then I returned to normal. I think many of you have experienced something similar to me. To start things off, my wife and I had to move to Pennsylvania about six years ago. Moving meant we had to leave our home for twenty years. In Pennsylvania, I started a small church, and my wife worked part-time for a nursing group. Things only went well for a few weeks. Then came the ceiling. It wasn’t a real climax, a series of events that would eventually leave me emotionally paralyzed.

The first thing that came as a surprise was that I needed emergency bypass surgery. I was only forty-seven years old when I went into the operating room to have my arteries replaced. The surgery went well; but I never fully recovered from it.

During the second year of my stay in Pennsylvania, we received a call from one of my sons. He was arrested for allegedly shooting down a Hardees restaurant and then robbing it. This son had a gambling problem, and had sometimes stolen in the past to support it. I thought to myself, “How is this going to look at the members at my new church?” We had to deal with lawyers, police officers and judges. Although my son had evidence that he was not at the scene at the time of the robbery, he was fifty miles away in West Virginia, the judges did not consider it, and found him guilty. Now he is dealing with having to pay back $80,000 in damages to the owner.

Still in the second year in our new home, another one of my sons, the younger one was called. He was also in trouble. He had turned into a gambler, too, and was practically bankrupt. He moved to Pennsylvania and stayed with us for a while, eventually getting in trouble with the law for robbing a lumberyard. He had put in a deposit.

In these first two years and everything else going there were two deaths in the family. My Father-in-law died from a staph infection contracted in a hospital in Maryland. My wife was crushed. Just a few months later my wife’s mother went to the same hospital her husband went to. Unexpectedly, she also died of a staph infection. Not only did she die; but she died on Christmas Day.

To make a long story short the next three years consisted of: my wife leaving me after 32 years of marriage; remarried and divorced again, my new wife was a drug addict; my two precious daughters being permanently removed by children and youth services because my wife was a drug addict; going through a trial for something I didn’t do; my church closed, I was unemployed and had no income for a year; I had a breakdown of sorts and now I am permanently disabled. Now I am taking care of my parents who were recently diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and heart disease. Don’t get me wrong; I’m not complaining. I only mentioned my tests so maybe I can relate to you. I am doing better now. I no longer spend my days in bed, wishing I could kill myself.

I saw psychiatrists and psychologists along with social workers. Although their intentions were good, they were not very helpful to me. Then one day I woke up and realized what my problem was; somewhere in the middle of my trouble I had forgotten God. It was only when I got closer to him that I could get relief from my pain. God is real and he is there to help. Short stories, Bible verses, humor, and articles from the Bible have helped me a lot. Now, I get out of bed in the morning and look forward to the day. My family is no longer worried about me committing suicide. I no longer wake up in the morning and wish it was night. Apart from a little depression, I feel good again. You can feel good again, too.

Here are some things you can do to feel better. First, make sure the lighting is right in your house. Little sunlight coming through your windows and poor lighting will only add to your depression. We lack vitamin D in winter and it is mandatory for a healthy mind. Use fluorescent lights, daylight, and white lights instead of vitamin D. This will not provide all the vitamin D you need so you have to get it from somewhere else.

Take vitamin D by mouth. Most pharmacies and large chain stores carry vitamins. My doctor has recommended me to take 1000 units per day. This is actually more than the recommended daily requirement; but vitamin D is not easily absorbed orally. Check with your doctor about the right amount for you. Get outside, any time spent outside will be a great mood lifter for you. While you’re outside, stretch and take in some fresh air at the same time. It seems that fresh air also affects the psyche. Exercise is also good for releasing pent up emotions.

Avoid conflict. I hate other people to speak for me; but there comes a time when your mind needs a break from the chaos. Let a trusted friend, family member or spouse handle some of your minor problems. At the same time, you will be less stressed by the situation that worries you. Get back to your roots, spiritually. It is good to be close to God and his word for what hurts you.

To summarize things. Depression is a terrible disease. Help comes in many forms, doctors, pills, vitamin D, proper lighting, exercise, deep breathing, therapy, and your spiritual well-being with God. If you use all the tools available, you should start feeling better soon.

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