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What Does It Mean For Your Marriage If The Other Woman Tells You About The Affair?
I sometimes hear from women who have had the unfortunate experience of being told of their husband’s infidelity by the woman he has been cheating with. It is shocking enough to find out that your husband has been unfaithful. But it is even worse to hear these words coming out of the woman who betrayed you.
I heard from a wife who said: “I knew my marriage was changing because my husband wasn’t around nearly as much. He had been distant from me. In fact, I asked him if he ‘ cheated on me six months ago and he got so mad I’d even suggest it. So I dropped the subject and figured he was stressed because of his job .I admit I was surprised when a woman I have never met called me and said she had something scary to tell me. She might have been the mother of one of my friends a child who was going to tell me that one of my children had done something wrong, but that was not it. with my husband for the past four months the man would not. She said she has been asking him to come clean so they can start their future together but my husband stopped on this. So she figured she could start the future by spilling the beans. I’m just dumb and in pain. I have two children who are sitting at the dining room table and have no idea that their lives are about to change. I don’t want to do this to my children. But how can I even talk to my husband when he didn’t even have the ability to tell me himself? What does this say about him and my marriage?”
I was so sorry that this woman had to deal with this. I often wonder what these women are thinking when they pick up the phone and it causes this kind of pain and panic. But it is possible that these women are not thinking about anything or anyone but themselves. I know this is a terrible thing to deal with and I know it is very difficult to stay calm. But in the following article, I will try my best to give you some insight and some much needed inspiration.
Don’t assume she’s telling you the whole truth: I must tell you that it is not uncommon for the other woman to call the wife to beat her husband. Because she has a very definite interest in the way the wife finds out and also which side of the story the wife hears. Also, sometimes she tries to make the man make a decision. Or, she is trying to hurt your marriage so that your husband will have an easier time committing to their relationship. In fact, sometimes, the man has even tried to end the relationship or expressed doubt about it and this little phone call is her way of causing problems and pain in revenge.
I didn’t know if any of these possibilities were true in this case, but I do know that the other woman often has her own agenda and is rarely completely honest.
Get Your Man’s Side of the Story and see if there is any proof of either version: I’m going to go out on a limb and tell you that my theory is that the other woman makes this call often because she wants to put her version of events on your mind. so that when your husband tells you his version, it will sound like a lie. I know you probably don’t even want to face your husband right now. But in the coming days and weeks, knowing the real truth is going to be very important to you. So get his version of events and then consider looking at credit card receipts, phone records, or anything that gives you a fair picture of the real truth. Because you can’t successfully heal something if you don’t really know what you’re dealing with.
Her husband may or may not have an effect on the outcome of the outcome: Many women are frustrated by this situation because they believe that if the other woman had not come forward, they might not have learned the truth. They assume that their husband may never have come clean. The problem with this thinking is that you will never know if it is right. You don’t know why she was motivated to beat the man to something that could be around the corner. You also don’t know if he may have told her that he was going to tell you the truth that made her make that phone call. There’s no way to know, unfortunately.
The most important thing now is what you do with this information in the future. You can’t change how you got the information, but you can control what you do with it now. You are in control of how you react. The other woman doesn’t control your strategy moving forward because she can’t control your thoughts and feelings (although she might want to.) Both sides should inside that marriage decide what happens with your marriage going forward. A third party should not have the power to influence that. And if you let her fill your head with possible lies before you sort out the truth, then you are giving her more power than she deserves.
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