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Suicide – The Easy Way Out For Some, Means Tears and Pain For Others
Some people who kill themselves are unique, selfish people. Others have mental problems. Our society excuses those with mental problems – and rightly so. They do not express their own pain. They torment the innocent family and friends they leave behind – those who are capable of caring and loving unconditionally. No one deserves that much pain.
I am sorry to some of my readers that I am offending by making the statement about suicidal people to be inconsiderate, and selfish. I can’t help but believe my own statements. After all, this is just my opinion. I understand that mentally challenged people find suicide the only way out of their problems. I understand and agree with that. My intention is not to hurt anyone with this article. Some suicides, I agree, have unknown implications that we as a society do not understand. It is sometimes difficult to be so suicidal.
We’ve probably all said this at one time or another, I’m going to kill myself,” or I might as well be dead, no one will care. We’ve all probably thought about it from time to time. I admit I said it and thought it.
I believe that my two older brothers had made sacrifices for me – in a cruel way. They all killed themselves in a way that saved me. Their methods were different, but their meaning was the same. My brothers weaknesses are my strength.
My older brother, Donald, put his hand in his mouth and blew himself away. I was unfortunate enough to find out his violent way out. After this tragic event, I never thought about suicide again. This was his sacrifice for me.
I believe that if anti-depressants had been available then, in the early to mid 70’s, as they are widely used today, he might have been saved. He wondered what Valium he did to calm his nerves. If so Dream Well or other anti-depressants were prescribed back then, it may have taken him out of depression, as it did for me.
There are many anti-depressant drugs on the market today that work wonders. This requires a visit to the doctor and a prescription. Some of these amazing drugs are, Wellbutrine, Celexa, Prozac, Paxil, Zoloft, Effexor and Serzone. These drugs are an alternative to depression. It is certainly worth trying to prevent the fatal choice of suicide.
My second oldest brother, Mark, killed himself in a way that took him years to accomplish – he drank himself to death. His years of alcohol abuse kept me under control most of the time. After experiencing his declining health with cirrhosis of the liver and eventual death, I finally decided to stop drinking because I was going down the same road he traveled for years. This was his sacrifice for me.
No matter how horrible, cruel and scary the world looks at times, it should not be a reason to kill yourself. For some, this is ridiculous. It doesn’t take courage to kill yourself – just selfish determination. Survivors were not allowed any other options or considerations – only guilt, grief and pain.
Over the years, I have had friends who have killed themselves. Take for example, my longtime friend, Rick, who overdosed on morphine. His obituary read that it was an accidental overdose. My understanding is that if you mess with a lethal drug, like morphine, you should expect to die. I wouldn’t call morphine a recreational drug. I wouldn’t call Rick’s death an accidental overdose, rather – a suicide.
I felt very lost for a long time after Rick died. I can only imagine what his family had to go through. This was my first experience of someone close to me dying like that – so mysteriously. We went to school together, we started drinking together, taking drugs, taking out his parents’ car and chasing girls.
Due to the nature of his death – a suicide, his family and friends were left with questions and guilt, along with grief. He left his young wife and young daughter behind to suffer because of his actions. His whole life was ahead of him. He was only twenty-two years old.
About two years later, my older brother, Donald, put a revolver in his mouth and blew himself away. Suicide was a violent death. He left our family and friends with many unanswered questions and tons of guilt and grief. For me, it was very difficult to separate my sadness from my anger. I was angry at him for doing this and leaving us with so much pain to deal with. He left a four year old son. He was separated from his wife. He was only sixty-six years old.
A friend I know through school, named Harky, attached a hose to his car’s engine and stuck it through a port on the inside while going inside himself. – killing. His explanation in a note was that he could not go on without the girl he left behind. I was very far from him when he died, but there is no doubt what his family went through. He was thirty-two at the time.
Another friend of mine, named Mike, was hanging from a bathroom door with a belt. What he did surprised everyone. His girlfriend was watching television in the other room at the time. There was no note. This was another case of a heavy burden of questions, guilt and grief that his family had to deal with. He was a 39 year old fireman.
A distant friend I knew, mentioned Steve, overdosed on heroin. His death was also thought to be an accidental overdose. He was living his life uncertainly on the edge. And he, too, left a monster of unanswered questions, guilt and grief for his family. He was thirty two.
A colleague of mine, mentioned Jerry, he arrived at work early to hang himself next to a boiler in the boiler room of the school where he worked. He was a nice, friendly person, easy going. Again, why would he want to put his family and friends through this to be sad and feel guilt, shame and anger? He was forty something at the time.
Another friend and colleague, named Brian, he decided to take the easy way out and introduce himself with a variety of pills. His body was found near his open refrigerator door. He had been unhappy about a broken relationship with his girlfriend. He left behind a crumpled and indecisive letter. It also left a family in shock with grief, anger and many unanswered questions. He was fifty nine years old.
My other older brother, Mark, he drank about forty years. He developed cirrhosis of the liver and died a very slow, painful death. It was almost unknown. He refused help and continued to drink until the fifth day before he died. It was terrible. His death was suicide-by-drinking. Of course, that is my terminology and not the Crown’s terminology. But I believe it was a suicide by all accounts.
In Marquis case, I thought I was ready for his due date with death. I was surprised that he lived as long as he did. I didn’t think I would experience the sadness and anger like I did. He had so much potential. He was a good looking, intelligent, talented musician and artist, before this ugly disease took hold of him and stopped his ambitions and choices in life – to hell He was a brother I was ashamed of because alcoholism turned him into a delusional fool. I knew he was once intelligent and that drink was his last demon. I tried to look past his faults, but it was our family that did not recognize his serious disease. Denial of his disease turned him into a mentally disturbed man. He was fifty-five years old.
If there is one message I could convey to young and old considering suicide, I would advise them not to be ashamed to seek professional help. I would also recommend that they evaluate their desperate decision and think about what they have done. I would let them know how their decision to end their life would greatly affect their family and friends. I would ask them why they would want to inflict such pain and sorrow on their loved ones. Above all, I would tell them that everything must pass and that what is intolerable to them now will become less and less insignificant if you give it time.
The act of suicide is not recommended and approved by God There will be no guarantee that your spirit and soul will reach heaven. Suicide is final. It is the easy road for some, but it means tears and pain for others.
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