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Parenting a 9-10 Year Old With Difficult Behaviors

Parents who have a child with behavioral problems are in a difficult situation. All parents should be aware that behavior, good or bad, is a form of communication from a child. The parents’ job is to help shape the behavior and interpret what the child is trying to say.

Children around the age of 9 or 10 are still developing mentally and physically. They are testing their limits and learning about their environments. Children in this age range may not yet have the communication skills they need to express their feelings. They may feel that changes or stress are bothering them and they don’t know how to express it. This is when inappropriate behavior can occur.

One of the first mistakes a parent makes is to automatically jump into control mode. Before a child can learn not to do something, he or she must learn what to do instead. Parents need to teach their child a new behavior or what they want the child to do instead of hitting or screaming.

A child learns how to behave from his environment. He will repeat a certain behavior, positive or negative, if he receives value or reinforcement. Parents have the difficult task of trying to ignore negative or undesirable behaviour, such as hitting or screaming, and trying to encourage positive behavior such as sharing or using an appropriate tone of voice.

Parents can encourage good behavior with praise, attention, role modeling or a positive reinforcement system. Positive reinforcement systems such as offering stickers for good days with a reward at the end of the week can be a good way for children to learn appropriate behaviour.

With a few simple steps, consistent parents will be rewarded with well-behaved children. It’s just a matter of figuring out what a child is trying to say and being patient enough to teach them an appropriate way to say it.

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