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How to Talk to Your Kids About Explicit Content
I don’t like to sleep. I prefer that my children value their sleep as much as I do. Isn’t it better to be fresh and ready for each day, rather than lazy and out of sync with the world? Apparently not.
More importantly there are other issues like, ‘which film shall we watch?’ It may sound harmless; Surely there is nothing to worry about with unsupervised young children watching TV or internet movies late at night? Several titles were mentioned, thankfully my daughter asked us about the titles. Mom looked them up on IMDB for parental information and was able to discuss the themes, action, and language warnings etc. with our daughter. I was very happy when I heard that she had decided not to see the film. The party ultimately decided not to watch any movies and instead do other, more social things. Good call.
It reminded me of an article I saw in the paper recently about a woman who had written a book to help schools, parents and children discuss pornographic images they have seen on the web or on TV. Here is an excerpt from the article:
“Liz Walker was only six years old when an older girl from up the street pulled up next to her on the school bus and whispered, “Hey do you want to see something?” B It was a Playboy she found under her brother’s bed and full of graphic pornography. ‘I felt this disgust but also arousal’. Ms Walker remembers. ready for it. In my six-year-old brain I thought that’s what you had to do to get consciousness’.”
Porn at the party?
Now, I’m not saying that everyone your child hangs out with will have porn and it’s unlikely he’ll be at a party for heaven’s sake. But it will happen sometime, with some friend or they will fall on themselves. Back in my childhood you probably had a mate whose father had Playboy calendars in his workshop. You might see pieces of a pornographic magazine spread across the train platform on the way to school, but it wasn’t easy to get to. Thanks to the internet, all that has changed. Now any child can access pornographic images with the touch of a button and it is easy to come across it even when you are not trying. I once tried to find pictures for a children’s church, Bible lesson. I wanted the children to have some crafts to work on which included ‘fat cows’ and ‘lean cows’ from Pharaoh’s dream in the book of Exodus. Yeah… don’t bother to search those terms.
How to take action
Don’t you think it’s a good thing to be able to talk to our children about images, themes, language they might encounter before they meet it? Don’t let your kids just watch. Check it out first and talk. How come? Go to IMDB for movies or sit down and watch an episode with them before letting them commit to a series.
Take the party invitation and the movie mooted. I think my wife did a good job there … reviewing the film, discussing the content with my daughter and because it wasn’t going to go into areas that could be harmful we left the decision with our daughter. But the subjects were not good. The language warning wasn’t the best either. I also give my daughter 10 points for supporting the movie and pray that this is something our kids can engage with with consistency.
It is better for them to make the decision, on the alert. I think it’s good to say to our children… what kind of stuff do you want in your head? Of course some movies we say as parents, no.
But very few of us dive into the problem of porn. The internet makes porn so accessible, it can’t be long before our children are exposed to it at school, at a friend’s house or in our own home.
Book I want to get:
Liz Walker’s book is called ‘Not for Kids’ to facilitate an open discussion between parents and primary school children about explicit images they may have. She warns, ‘We already have a generation of children who see corrupt, violent sex as the norm – without connection, intimacy and love. If someone doesn’t speak out soon we are staring down the barrel of tomorrow’s sex offenders and a barrage of intimate partner violence’ (Sydney Morning Herald, Sunday February 7, 2016, news page 20).
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