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The First Fifteen Seconds of Your Internet Meeting – What Gets Noticed?

Internet dating is all about meeting. Email doesn’t really count; actually, emailing on your computer in your sloppy t-shirt and faded shorts isn’t dating. Dating requires two people, a little conversation and a glass of wine or a cup of coffee. And it also requires a first meeting.

Right now, your job on the first date is to have fun. Having fun means cruising gently and trying not to judge harshly. Men and women notice somewhat different things; I know this because I have researched this topic. In fact, I bring you this unscientific survey courtesy of my friends and acquaintances, all of whom are middle-aged and online dating. They were all asked the same simple question and yes, the sex card was played. Or at least it was mentioned.

What women notice in men in the first 5 minutes

It will definitely help us if you are a funny guy, you will make us happy. Because we are programmed for details, we pick up on certain things. We’ll note, for example, your offer of an appetizer to go with that glass of cabernet. It’s very considerate of you to realize that we didn’t have much time to eat. Why? We were too busy preparing for our first meeting with you.

o We notice your smile in the 1st second. If it’s there, that’s all it takes to like you. “If a guy doesn’t smile when we meet,” says Brenda, 57, “I think he lacks basic social charm. My interest plummets.”

o 3 seconds will tell us if you are comfortable with a little talk. “It’s so nice to finally meet you,” he reassures us.

o By the 5th second, we’ll notice if you have hair or if you’re just faking it.

o Around the 6th second we know if you’re shorter than your profile stats…or much shorter.

o Five seconds later, we already have an overview of your definition of average weight, even if it is a loose definition.

o By the time we hit 18 seconds, we know if you trust yourself despite the hair loss, weight gain from the breakup you told us about on the phone, and if we never want to sleep with you again.

o But we know in 20 seconds if we would consider sleeping with you. No, that doesn’t mean sex on the first date. That decision surely depends on the whole damn evening, and even then we may not be sure.

What men notice in women in the first 15 seconds

In the first 15 seconds, even if it’s just the first meeting, we check your face for a smile, your body (Have you ever posted a photo of a ten-year-old skinnier version of you?) and your confidence level. And understand something. We know if we want to sleep with you. We can’t help it; we are men, even if we are middle-aged men. We have ideas. It doesn’t mean we’re making pickles, but it’s a start.

And that’s not bad, not bad at all.

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