How Old Where The Goleden Girls When The Show Started The Five Golden Rules To Tinder

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The Five Golden Rules To Tinder

Internet dating sucks. I’ve heard many men say this line to me, and it’s usually from guys who haven’t been on a date in months. I understand that if you don’t have any love online, then the first thing to blame is the entire World Wide Web, but just like we can’t blame the entire chicken industry for a bad chicken leg at KFC, we can’t blame the internet for our dating. Alas. There is only one person to blame. YOU

Tinder IS the biggest dating app since… well, forever. My friends and I have never had so many dates in such a short amount of time with little to no effort. The best thing about Tinder is that it basically allows you to “speed date”, you match with a girl, shoot a bit of banter back and forth, and you get a date. Yes, not every girl will say yes to your request for a romantic night under the stars, but they’re on Tinder for a reason, and if they’ve hit on you, then they’re already considering dating you. So without further ado, let me break down the five golden rules of Tinder so you too can enjoy the benefits that Tinder provides to so many men out there.

1.) 5 good photos: Now folks, I’m not talking about mirror selfies or shirtless selfies. Delete them from your phone immediately. This would be great if you were on Grinder, but luckily for us men, the female of our species isn’t looking for a six pack online. He can find it every day and anywhere. Photos must be clear, so at least an iPhone 6, but I suggest a better camera. You need a face shot, a full body shot, a shot of you enjoying some activity and just showing how amazing your life is. I would also suggest that you don’t have pictures of you drunk and hanging out with some girls. Some guys post photos with them surrounded by girls in a night club. It looks like you’re trying. Show up with friends in elegant situations and look like a cool dude. End of the story. Selfies are a big NO NO. Oh, and no pictures of your… manhood, no matter how impressive you think it might be.

2.) Opening line: Okay, erase from your memory the following line “Hello, how are you?” NEVER!!! Say this sentence again. Do you realize how many matches a beautiful girl can get in a day? And you start with the most boring, generic, mundane sentence ever. Put yourself in the girl’s shoes for a moment. She jumped on Tinder. Probably because she is bored and a little curious. Most girls will play it like a video game with no intention of meeting anyone, so the only way to get to these girls is to MAKE IT FUN. Make it rhetorical and don’t ask. He can answer if he wants to, if not, who cares. It must be need-free, care-free, and look like a simple expression of the awesomeness that radiates from you. Here are some of my favorite opening lines.

1. From your witty and creative tagline, I sense that you might be missing a little magic and spice in your day, so I’m offering you a chance to have your day enhanced by the presence of my awesomeness.

2. (Insert name here) I believe you must confess…

3. I’m currently trying on different outfits for tonight’s party. I’m thinking Batman, but then again, the redness in Superman’s underwear really makes my eyes pop.

4. I had the strangest day today. I woke up thinking it was Saturday, but then quickly realized it was (insert day here). Luckily I’m fast and made it to work on time.

You can see that all these opening lines have one thing in common. They communicate that I don’t care, that I don’t take it too seriously, that I’m a happy guy, that I’m joking, and that I’m probably a pretty cool guy too.

3.) Get offline quickly: The world of Tinder moves fast, just like the real world moves fast. Women are emotional creatures, and once they stop feeling, they start forgetting. You might be amazing on Monday, but you might be completely forgotten by Tuesday if you don’t stay fresh in her mind. Therefore, you need to become a real person as quickly as possible. Tinder should only be a method of meeting and opening up. After that, you need to get offline as quickly as possible. Get this phone number within 4-6 messages. Make it fun, fun, fun, fun, and then say the following sentence.

“Hey, I have to dig. I have lives to inspire. You sound like you might not be a creep or a stalker. I’ll dig it up. Give me your number and maybe I’ll message you.”

4.) Quick First Meeting: My advice is to take it for the night. But I understand that some people may have to work nights during the week, so you may have to wait a while. But get it as fast as you can and then send a funny message once a day until the date to stay fresh in the girl’s mind. Remember a woman follow her emotions, give her emotions and she will remember you, the moment you get bored, bye dear sir.

5.) Don’t bite off more than you can chew: This could be a quality issue. However, once you’ve mastered steps 1-4, this can be a problem. If you start matching too many and talking to too many, you can actually start getting nothing. “A man chasing two rabbits will catch neither

Sincerely,

Saxon

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