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When to Contact Your Ex Boyfriend – And What You Should Say to Get Him Back

A breakup is one of the most unnatural experiences in the world. You go from talking and seeing each other every day to a complete lack of contact. Phone calls, emails, text messages… all these things you do every day are suddenly banned. It’s almost like deleting someone from your life overnight.

And if you are trying to get your ex boyfriend back? Things are even harder. In your desperate attempt to get back into his life, you’ve probably already made some of the bigger mistakes. Did you pursue your ex on some level? Call or beg him to give the relationship another chance? If so, how long did you wait before contacting your ex? Was it weeks? days? Even just a few hours?

It’s not easy to know what to do when a guy dumps you. As the huge rush of emotions wash over you, you are flooded with a lot of uncertainty. Even the smallest things seem magnified after a breakup, and minutes can seem like hours. You keep an eye on the phone, waiting for your boyfriend to call off the breakup… while fighting the urge to call him yourself.

Most women who end up picking up the phone don’t even know what to say. Is there anything specific you can say to your boyfriend to win him back? Should you let him know that things will be different, or even promise that they will? An even better question: do you even know what’s wrong with your relationship? Calling your ex without knowing what to say is one of the biggest breakup mistakes you can make. If you think he wants to hear you rambling aimlessly about how much you love and need him, or how much you “serve” to be together, you’re probably in for a rude awakening.

You need a level head and a clear mind when trying to figure out when to contact your ex boyfriend. Right after being dumped is never a good time to reconnect with your ex. Good News? Waiting here alone without doing a single thing can go miles and miles to getting your boyfriend back. Bad news? This is also the time when you are most likely to pick up the phone and call or text him. You’ll feel like doing nothing is hurting your chances of reconciliation, and with every minute that passes, you’ll feel your boyfriend drifting further and further away.

Try to understand something, and the sooner you understand it, the better off you will be: there is no quick fix for your breakup. Not on your side anyway. When your boyfriend broke things off, he took most of the control over what happens to the rest of your relationship. Chasing him, calling him, or trying to fix things right now will only make things worse. You give up any control or power you may have left and it’s like you give your ex permission to move on. But by not running to your boyfriend after a breakup? You are actually taking back control of what happens next.

Put yourself in your ex’s shoes for a minute. He’s kicking you out. He knows you’re mad, he knows you still love him… so what does he think is going to happen now? Your boyfriend expects you to chase him. This is comforting to him, for two reasons. First, it feeds his ego. Second, he now knows he can get you back with the snap of two fingers. Should he go out and date other girls and see what’s out there? Of course he should. Because now is the time for him to do these things risk-free. By letting him know you’re sitting and crying and waiting by the phone, you’ve given your ex the freedom to do whatever he wants…and your old relationship can come back as a giant safety net.

Do you want to stop your ex boyfriend from dating someone else? You have to remove that safety net as quickly as possible. There are methods and techniques you can use that will turn your ex boyfriend’s attention back to you instead of allowing him to focus it elsewhere. Learning these techniques can mean the difference between getting back together with your boyfriend… or losing him for good.

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