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Indifference Makes All the Difference
Why is it so hard for us guys to be ourselves around women at certain times? Why do we avoid talking to women we’re interested in purely because there’s a chance the interaction will NOT go the way we want it to? Andy why when we talk to girls do we tell them what we think they want to hear so we don’t cause any waves or get looked down upon? The answer to all these questions is actually quite simple. BECAUSE WE CARE TOO MUCH!! We’re so caught up in the uncertain outcome of the opportunity we’re presented with that we don’t even try—and if we do, we play it safe by doing anything and everything we think will make her like us more without ever escalating it . This is not going to get us ANYWHERE my friend.
I understand that for some people it’s easier said than done – at least when it comes to women. Still, I think everyone in the world has the capacity for apathy when it comes to at least one area of our existence. Unless you’re some kind of super sensitive bleeding heart, I think it’s pretty much impossible to really invest your soul into every single mechanism of life. Example: lottery.
Everyone would like to win the lottery, right? That kind of ROI would be one of the worst things ever, in my opinion. Now, I don’t play the lottery, which is why I never win the lottery, but let’s pretend I did, and maybe some of you who play can attest to that.
Okay, so every Friday I go down to 7-Eleven and buy a weekly lottery ticket. I think about how much that week’s jackpot is, and of course the bigger the jackpot, the more excited I get. I imagine what it would be like to win all that money and fantasize about all the things I could do with it. It’s one of those things that would be so incredibly amazing and completely change my life forever. HOWEVER, I pick my numbers, buy a ticket, then go about my day, and when I turn on the news the next night to check my numbers, do I really care if I don’t win? Probably not. As money-killing as it would be, losing the lottery won’t disrupt my day/week/month in the slightest. I am indifferent to losses because my investment is so minimal.
I’m sure there must be something similar in your life, and it just so happens to be the exact same mindset you need to have when engaging women. It takes very little effort to come up to a woman and say something. It’s not a big investment at all, so it would be silly of me to bend too much if/when it doesn’t pay off – at least it’s better than not playing the game at all. So I don’t really sweat it much.
But, aside from personal peace of mind, what are the real benefits of indifference? Good question. Simply put, it gives you the freedom to play by your own rules. It is one aspect of social selfishness. When you’re out there, your only job is to look for #1 and secure your own personal enjoyment. That’s not to say you don’t also try to get the most out of the person you’re talking to, but always ask yourself, “Do I like this?” and if not, do either/both of the following:
It’s your investment. If you find yourself aboard a sinking ship, it is your responsibility to either repair the leak or jump overboard. And it’s all based on whether you feel it’s worth your time and effort. It’s your choice. Do what you want, talk about what you want to talk about and bring people into YOUR world.
Just last night I attended a social gathering. Within four minutes of chatting with one particular woman, we were talking about the first time a girl stuck her finger in my ass during sex. It was a fun, interesting story and quickly allowed me to take the conversation where I wanted to take it. If I wanted to talk to the girl about penguins, I’d ask her if she’d seen Happy Feet and go from there. If she can’t get on board, I’ll call her, and if I have to, I’m totally prepared to find someone else who CAN join.
In my experience, most women are very open and willing to talk about almost anything – as long as you’re comfortable with it. Women want a man who knows who he is and knows what he will and won’t stand for. Confidence is the sexiest thing you can tell a woman. Stop worrying about what people think and start making yourself happy. It’s your world, everyone else is just living in it. It is that indifference that makes the difference.
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