How Old Do You Have To Be A Girl Scout Building Healthy Families

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Building Healthy Families

While there are some healthy families, there are also many families that are dysfunctional. There is a significant breakdown of the institution of the family. Children are alienated from their parents. Domestic abuse is rampant – neglect, physical, emotional, verbal and sexual. Divorce statistics are high even within the church. If we look at the North American context, there are a number of prominent ministers who have divorced – what does this say about marriage as a fundamental Christian covenant? We also see inappropriate discipline methods in homes that are either too harsh or too lax. The result is children who are either fearful or unruly and rebellious. We also see that fathers are absent from many of our homes.

Building healthy families involves following the first principle of the family—a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and they shall become one flesh (Genesis 2:24). When a man marries, a new family unit is formed. Dependencies with the previous family must be broken and past family relationships must be redefined. The extended family has its place, but it must not interfere with the new family unit. In-law conflicts and problems can seriously affect a marriage. Husbands must remember that their wife is not their mother.

Building healthy families involves family devotions (Genesis 35:2-4). Spouses must pray and study the Scriptures together: ideally every day. It can be helpful to set aside a fixed time each day to make devotions a well-established habit. The husband must initiate in this area.

Fathers should strive to lead their children (as they grow in understanding and maturity) to faith in Jesus Christ. You can set aside one day a week for devotions with your children. You can use a child-friendly devotional and you can even let the children lead the devotional if they are mature enough to do so. You should also regularly encourage your children to pray and read the Word outside of family devotions. I believe that fathers should make sure that their children go to church when they are at their parents’ house.

Building healthy families requires proper discipline. Discipline is more than punishment. It has to do with shaping a person’s character, behavior and attitudes (Proverbs 22:6). As fathers, we must model the qualities we want our children to have. We have to teach them the principles of life. Teach them how to manage money, how to stay sexually pure, how to be more confident, how to be a leader, and other important things.

We need to involve our children in character-building activities such as Boy Scouts, Girl Guides, Sunday School, and youth group. Fathers, as heads of the household, must take the initiative in this area. Discipline must not be left to mothers alone. Discipline, where it is punishment, must be fair, decisive, consistent and firm. Failure to discipline your children effectively will result in spoiled, rebellious children who are a liability to society.

Building healthy families involves quality family time. The challenge is that individuals in families can be so busy that there is little or no time together. This is exacerbated by media such as the internet, television, mobile phones and video games. Families should set aside a day of the week when the whole family can get together. This will become your family day and night, where no one is planning any other activity.

In addition, families can plan events – picnics, overnight stays in a hotel, trips and other events that bond the family together. Husbands and wives should have dates. Leave the kids with a family member and go out and have fun: keep those marital flames burning. Fathers can take each child individually to make them feel especially loved.

Building healthy families requires a husband to love his family. A husband is commanded to love his wife as Christ loves the church (Ephesians 5:25). This kind of love is an unconditional commitment to your spouse. Traditional marriage vows say, “To have and to hold from this day forward for better or for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and cherish till death do us part.” That is a very serious commitment. Loving your wife requires you to be faithful in thought, speech, and action. Moreover, love does not require submission. Submission flows more easily when a husband loves his wife.

There are various ways a husband can show his love to his wife. He could pray for his wife and pray for love. Love is the fruit of the Spirit. If the husband is lacking in this area, he can ask God and he will provide abundantly. A husband can also show love by listening to and talking to his wife. He must give his wife his undivided attention as he listens. A husband needs to spend quality time with his wife. He also expresses love by helping in the household and helping with the children. A husband should praise his wife for the way she looks and the things she does; he should show appreciation and not take his wife for granted. Another way to show love is to hold your woman without expecting sex.

A husband must love his wife (Song of Songs 1:9-11). This can be achieved in several ways. He can surprise her with gifts. He can take her for a walk on the beach while holding hands. He can kiss her goodbye whenever he leaves the house. Hopefully it won’t be sacrilege (tongue in cheek), but he can go around his wife in church. He can write her his own poem. If you lack inspiration, check out the Song of Solomon. Another way to love your wife is to publicly compliment his wife. Another little tip, a husband can look into his wife’s eyes and say “I love you”, these three little words that mean so much to any woman.

A father must love his children. We must strengthen and encourage our children. We should support their various activities. For example, if they play sports, we should be there to cheer them on. We need to catch our children doing good. It is easy to see and find fault with our children, especially as they get older. However, in some cases, they want to please us, so praise them when they do something right. This will motivate them to perform better. As the old saying goes, “you catch more flies with honey than vinegar.”

We need to know the love language of our children. Gary Chapman identifies five love languages: words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, touches, and acts of service. Each person has their own primary love language – the way they feel special and loved. We must be available to our children; we can’t afford to be so busy that we don’t have time for them. We must also be prepared to listen without judging.

Building healthy families requires the man to provide leadership in the home. Scripture teaches that the man is the head of the house (Ephesians 5:23). This is the divine, unchanging order until Christ returns; that’s not sexist, that’s biblical. Heading the home means that the husband must make the right decisions for the family. This would include decisions about finances, children’s education, moving, changing churches and other areas. These decisions must include the wife (and in some cases the children); a husband/father is a leader, not a dictator.

Another consequence is that the husband must ensure that the purpose of the family is carried out. What specifically has God called his family to do? For example, some families are specially called to pastoral ministry. The husband’s leadership must facilitate the development/growth of his family – spiritually, emotionally, mentally and physically. This means that the husband must grow. In addition, the husband must establish a system for problem solving and conflict resolution. Problems are inevitable in the best of families. Headship also means that the husband must listen to God and be led by the Holy Spirit.

Building healthy families involves proper conflict resolution. Conflicts are inevitable – every family, no matter how good the relationship, experiences conflict. When dealing with conflict, it is necessary to pray about the conflict. The Holy Spirit will give you the grace and compassion you need. The Holy Spirit will also give you the right perspective. Be willing to listen to your spouse or other family member; discuss things. Proverbs 15:1 says that a soft answer turns away wrath; in other words, it is better to speak softly and respond in a gentle manner than to respond harshly and angrily. Be willing to see the problem from the other person’s point of view. Your view may be wrong. In some cases, it may be necessary to seek godly counsel from a trusted friend. And of course you must apologize when you are at fault.

Building healthy families requires you to be emotionally healthy (Galatians 5:22, 23). Self-understanding is needed. We need to understand the way past experiences have shaped us. In some cases, we may have developed dysfunctional ways of relating to people. We also need to understand our personality type – strengths and weaknesses. For example, some people have a choleric personality. This personality is great for leadership and taking initiative. His downside is anger and impatience.

Marriage should be a relationship between two whole people. Many people go into marriage expecting the other person to make them happy. They expect this person to fulfill all their emotional needs. If you have low self-esteem before marriage, getting married probably won’t change that. Problems we have before marriage will still be problems we have during marriage, which can inevitably lead to marital problems. Even in marriage, it’s good to still have outside interests and friends because your spouse can’t meet all of your needs. To expect this is to place an unnecessary burden on your husband.

There are endless more tips, but I hope these tips will help us as men build a healthy family. Healthy families contribute to a healthy society. We have a God-given responsibility to be the best husbands and fathers we can be.

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