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What Gramps Really Wants For Christmas!
Trying to find the perfect gift for grandpa can certainly be a difficult task. Your Gramps has seen it all, tried it all, and is long gone to follow his youthful quest. However, the old man has a life, and it can certainly be enriched with one of the gift ideas I have listed for you below. Go ahead and make some old man happy. God knows he’s been grumpy for too long!
1. Hearing aid — That’s right, Gramps hasn’t been hearing much lately, and what he’s hearing is changing. Give a gift that he can hear and he will be very grateful. Choose a trendy model that stays out of his ear canal and comes in your choice of invigorating colors: Crimson Red, Bionic Blue, Glowing Green or Psychedelic Orange.
2. Viagra — Gramma has looked pretty sad in recent years. Get Gramps Viagra and let them have some alone time. Lots of Viagra if you can afford it!
3. Football tickets — Who doesn’t like football? Okay, Gramma doesn’t. So why not buy Grampa a couple of tickets and take him to the big game? After you go through the Viagra, Gramma will be glad you took this smart guy away from her for a while. She needs a rest and now she looks like she’s been run over by a reindeer. Just don’t sit too close to the cheerleaders…
4. The Three Stooges — Gramps seems to be making fun of a lot of expensive stuff lately, except for comedies that are sleazy, especially The Three Stooges. Spring for the entire 26-volume DVD set The Best of The Three Stooges to keep him entertained all winter long. Also shop on eBay for the best prices!
5. Headings — What did you say?! Yes, get his favorite auto parts like a DC Sports header, K&N cold air intake, JetChips performance chip, floor mats and cargo liners, etc. for his 1999 Ford F-250. You know he’s planning on giving you a truck next year anyway, so why not outfit it the way you want now instead of waiting until later? Your gift to him will soon become your gift to yourself. It underlines what Christmas has become for so many; so come on in how to spirit today!
Just remember that it’s the thought that counts. The more reckless you are, the more transparent you will be perceived. At least you’ll live up to anyone’s expectations and therefore won’t be able to disappoint anyone.
Somehow I don’t think that Christmas is really like that… Merry Christmas, old men!
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