Easy Online Printable Gifts For 1 Year Old Baby Girl Choosing Unconditional Love

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Choosing Unconditional Love

“If you can’t love yourself unconditionally, you won’t be able to love anyone else unconditionally.”

In The Power of Stories I wrote about how the stories we tell ourselves and what we earn from life shape our reality. In the self-mastery program, the first of the eight principles is self-belief, and one of the key practices is being able to uncover these deep-rooted stories and begin to rewrite the ones that don’t work for us.

However, at the heart of these stories is a fundamental question: “Do you love yourself unconditionally?”

To this question, most people immediately answer, “Of course I do,” but a little questioning often reveals doubts. For example, imagine that it is late in the day, the phone rings, you answer it, and while talking to your sister, you realize that you forgot your mother’s birthday.

Do you find yourself lying in bed later that night berating yourself for being so forgetful, or have you graciously forgiven yourself and resolved to find a better way to remember things in the future?

Or imagine your daughter knocking over her color tray while trying to settle the wrong phone bill while trying to contact a customer service representative in some faraway country whose native language you’re sure is DEFINITELY not English. new rug and you – despite doing morning yoga and meditation – completely LOSE IT and bring him to tears.

Or you:-

a) Forgive yourself unconditionally and move on?

b) Think about it by constantly berating yourself for being a bad parent and tell yourself that you’ve probably just given your child a long lasting deep psychological scare that will lead to him turning to drugs and blaming himself 15 years later YOU?

c) Abstain from ALL responsibility by blaming the stupid telecomist and repeating the story to your 3 year old daughter in the hope that she will somehow understand and FORGIVE?

See the point?? Is the little voice in your head your friend or a judgmental stalker out to remind you what you’ve done wrong and why you should feel guilty and NOT the ONLY one to love?

So maybe I’m exaggerating a bit and then again maybe not?

But where does this judgmental thing come from and how do we move from it so that we can accept ourselves without reservation?

Think of it this way – up until about age 2, we usually can do no wrong. Babies can throw up all over you, poop your pants, break things, keep you up all night, and you’ll STILL love them unconditionally.

Then somewhere around age 2, you want them to do a few more things on their own, and you start to get a little annoyed when they don’t. For example, you want them to feed themselves, and if they throw the food on the floor, you get angry. You want them to cry in the toilet, but they cry on the floor and you get upset.

Your message – with the utmost good intentions – is: “Do it right (in other words, as I say) and you’re a good boy/girl and daddy/mommy loves you”

Their response to the message is probably something like, “Hey wait, I used to be able to do anything and you loved me now, that’s all changed and it depends on me doing and acting a certain way.”

Rethinking the ontological model of existence – past, present and future.

The past contains our stories about how the world works and what is right and wrong, etc. Because we have a certain fixed idea of ​​how the world works and therefore what needs to be done and how to be in order to “get ahead” – we pass it on to our children. We tell them, “This is the right way to do things, this is the right way to be,” and our leverage to get them to do and be that way is to give them credit for the good things and discourage them from the bad things. Therefore, our attention – and by interpretation our love – is conditional.

So fast forward to adulthood and here we are with this little internalized dialogue about what is right and wrong and how the world works. If we do the right thing, we tell ourselves that it is good. But when we do wrong, we call ourselves “the bad girl/boy”. Therefore, the result is often the “bad girl/boy” that you do not deserve to receive love and abundance.

Get it?

So get back to yourself and changing the world.

Self-mastery.

Let’s take some responsibility here – as convenient as it is to blame our parents for all our internal faults and thus absolve ourselves of any responsibility and accept the concept of victimhood.

If you want to change the inner stories you tell yourself about yourself and what you think you deserve out of life, then the first thing is to CHOOSE to love yourself UNCONDITIONALLY.

It is, despite what you might do, CHOOSE to stay in a loving place towards yourself. Now I don’t mean you should jump up and go and rob the corner store – that would be silly – remember that self-management means taking RESPONSIBILITY and stepping up to change yourself and change the world.

WE ARE WHO WE HAPPEN.

So, stop waiting and move.

CHOOSE to love yourself UNCONDITIONALLY.

Recognize where the negative self-talk is coming from. Recognize that your parents and those who influenced you during your formative years did their best.

FORGIVE THEM!

And that doesn’t mean you should ignore all the negative things you might do or be. What I am saying is recognition and redirection.

“Even though I yelled at my daughter today and made her cry, I choose to forgive myself and love myself unconditionally, and I set my intention to be calm, loving and less reactive.”

The starting point is to choose. Judgments and negative self-narratives will lead you back into a past/present loop that will simply perpetuate your old way of being. And as I wrote before, once you start telling this negative story about how “bad” you are, a series of past events will flash before your eyes that will give you plenty of evidence why it’s TRUE.

But YES it’s just a STORY remember?

So – standing here, fully present, I acknowledge what I’ve done, and I acknowledge the story I have about myself, yet I choose to turn to the future and love myself unconditionally.

“Keep your face to the sun and you see no shadows.” – Helen Keller

In other words, “I see what I’ve done or how I’ve been, but it’s not me, it’s not who I chose to be, and I’m committed to moving forward to try to create a different future.”

When you CHOOSE to love yourself unconditionally and choose not to berate yourself for your failures, but to acknowledge and channel them, you will change the narrative of what it is that you DESERVE from life.

If you keep telling yourself where you’ve gone wrong and how bad you are, the result is that you don’t believe you deserve much from life, and so – guess what – that’s what you get!

Choose to love yourself unconditionally and take responsibility for creating a greater you, and suddenly you have much more room for what you DESERVE out of life. If you’re not such a bad person, you deserve a little more. If you focus on what you are doing right and start emphasizing the positive, then maybe you deserve a lot more out of life?

So – how to shift it all?

Really simple :-

1) CHOOSE to love yourself UNCONDITIONALLY

2) Be aware of the stories you tell about yourself and the times you hurt yourself

3) Recognize these stories and then rewrite them to your liking

4) Learn to ask, “What am I doing right?”

As a result, you will change your relationship with yourself.

The beautiful and surprising result is that you will change the way you relate to others. Instead of projecting your own crap onto them and being conditional in your love for them, you will be able to maintain a space of UNCONDITIONAL love.

This means that instead of loving someone as long as they treat you a certain way, you can CHOOSE to love them NO MATTER how they are or what they do. In this way, you will set the tone for your relationship and truly create love for them.

And in this way love becomes a divine force. Enough divine power to change the world.

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