Do 21 Yr Old Girls Have Sex With Older.Men Our Sexuality Expresses Who We Are – What Are You Expressing?

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Our Sexuality Expresses Who We Are – What Are You Expressing?

Through decades of listening to clients, friends, colleagues and acquaintances, I have learned that:

o many of us are insecure about our bodies and our sexuality

o most of us do not conform to the media’s standards of male or female beauty

o marriage does not cause loss of desire, sexual excitement and passion

o aging does not end sexual desire, sexual attraction and sexual behavior

Many, many, many people have discovered their passion for long-term commitment for the first time in marriage or later in life with new and exciting relationships. In fact, many married couples continue to have passionate and pleasurable sex with their spouse well into their golden years.

Sexuality is not a separate part of our lives apart from the sensations in our bodies, the feelings in our hearts and the thoughts in our minds. Our sexuality expresses who we are, the culmination of our life experiences and body memories. Sexuality does not first appear in puberty or adolescence or adulthood, as the media often suggests. Our sexuality is with us from the moment of conception, and perhaps even earlier in our mother’s womb, until the very end of our lives. Male fetuses actually have an erection in the womb, and little girls’ vaginas get oiled during sleep.

Popular women’s and men’s magazines would have us believe that the way to any man’s or woman’s heart is through sexual prowess and skill. There are even courses that teach various techniques that are “guaranteed” to drive a man or woman wild in bed.

The media rarely teaches us how to deal with the shyness and even shame that many of us feel, or the difficulties that many of us have with potential sexual partners. We rarely hear about the fear of rejection, isolation, insecurity and sexual problems that we often face in our most intimate relationships. And what about so many of us who are perfectly capable of loving one partner intimately, but somehow fall in love or lust after that one person who rejects us, dangling the carrot of love only to disappoint us again and again, leaving us in a state of spiritual self-destruction.

The media offers little support for a sensitive, kind, loving sexuality based on trusting our body’s response and knowing our partner intimately over a long period of time. The prevailing belief that most people accept as fact is that heightened sexual drive and passion are most pronounced in the early, tentative, exploratory days of any relationship.

If we truly believe that long-term commitment, especially marriage, is a recipe for the death of our sexuality, then we are a doomed society. How can we happily conclude a lifetime “death sentence” with our chosen partner? If we truly believe that only young, single, beautiful, and assertively aggressive people are sexual, how does our anxiety-ridden mind allow us to seek a desirable sexual partner if we feel we don’t fit the dominant image?

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