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How to Survive The Digital Breakup
In many ways, technology has made life much easier. Nowadays, you can shop from the comfort of your bed via the internet at our PJ store. You can play games or find new information on the Internet. You can work from home using the internet. If you want, you can even find new loves or meet new friends from the opposite side of the world – all through the Internet.
Social media—Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr—are all used today. They can help you stay in touch with people who live all over the world. You can communicate with your best friend who is sitting right next to you, or you can chat with someone who lives thousands and thousands of miles away from you. You can keep family and friends informed of everything that’s going on in your life without even having to talk to them face-to-face. For what it’s worth, social media might be the world’s best invention ever. Maybe not the best, but definitely up there with one of the best! I guess you can’t quite compare Facebook to the invention of the wheel…
Disposable social media and our new digital age will not be help is there for you when you are going through a divorce. Those constant reminders of your lost love were probably nice to keep you going all day while you were still dating, but now you’re not. You are no longer together. You are divorced for a reason and constantly updated; constant digital communication with your ex won’t do you any good. It won’t put a smile on your face. Instead, it will only bring sadness and perhaps more than a few tears.
As much as you guys might have “liked to keep in touch” and wanted to stay friends who liked each other’s quirky statuses and pictures, the chances of that happening are pretty slim. Unless you broke up amicably, which, let’s be honest, rarely happens, there’s a good chance that the sight of your ex, or even the mere mention of him (or her), will send you running back to your bed to spend another week under the covers. eating your body weight in Ben & Jerry’s ice cream and crying the most dramatic, exhausting tears you’ve ever cried. You can’t really explain the pain you feel when you break up with someone you once felt was the love of your life. And while you’re meeting them, aren’t they all? It’s usually only much later, after the breakup, that you realize all the reasons why you weren’t good for each other. It’s not something you’ll learn in a couple of weeks and certainly not always when you’re Facebook friends!
Once upon a time, only the young had to worry about the “digital” meltdown, as well as the “real” one—the real, face-to-face. With their MySpace accounts, these twelve-year-olds regularly swap BFFs and BFs like they’re going out of style; it all seemed so small all those years ago, didn’t it? We are all going through it now, little kids and big kids alike. As social media takes over more of our lives, no one really cares about the social media meltdown, right?
While you cry into your blanket waiting for another long single winter, you don’t think about blocking him from your social media accounts or hiding his messages so they don’t get shoved down your throat every morning when you wake up. Instead, you’re acting like a relationship masochist that so many of us, men and women alike, cling to the last bit of information we can get about our lost loves, checking their Facebook page every five minutes to see if he’s dating this girl. you never liked, or she’s hanging out with the guy who gave you those sly looks at the bar last weekend. You knew there was something about him you didn’t like…
Social media, the new digital, social age we live in, all it will do during your breakup is remind you of ALL things you TO THINK you miss your ex. That smile, the hair, the way he or she made you feel. That’s all it will make you feel—sad, envious of everyone who’s been put on his arm this week, and anxiously wishing your ex would text you and say the words you’ve been dreaming about for so long. “I’ve made a terrible mistake and I’d love for us to get back together!”
Even if he or she said those words to you, how long do you think you would last? If you broke up once, how long will it be before those troubles and resentments start to bother you again? You might be able to swallow his mess for a few weeks until you finally lose your top, but eventually you want to lose your top again. The things that bothered you then will still bother you now and in the future! An ex is always an ex for a reason and that’s the problem with social media…
It makes you question all the reasons you broke up.
Ten years ago, when you broke up with someone, that was it. You have to call each other on your home phone to communicate, and if you’re not at home, that chat never happened. Nowadays, you have a cell phone, so you are always in touch. Even if he or she no longer has your number or you deleted their number, Facebook or Twitter is still available. He or she may still like your Instagram photos, leaving you wondering why they liked it? Does he say hello? Is he trying to reach out again? Should you send him a message? Call him? Send him an email?
These days, you don’t even have to get out of bed to experience the sadness of finding out that the love of your life has moved on to someone new. Right under the covers, before you’ve even had that much-needed Java, you have all the information you could ever need, just a phone call away. And you know you’ll go looking for it too! Don’t we all check Facebook every morning like it’s news now? Don’t we all go on Instagram to see who posted what during breakfast? Or check out Twitter to see what’s got people talking? Or is it just me…?
Of course, there is a moral to this story. I am trying to make a point here. When you break up with someone, the best course of action is to immediately delete all traces of your digital life. Unfriended on Facebook. Twitter block. Deleting Instagram. Browse your emails – delete all their entries. If you don’t, you’re not only inviting them to contact you again to further prolong your painful breakup, you’re also putting yourself at risk.
What happens after you have a few drinks with the girls? What happens after a couple of pints with the guys? Will you text your ex? Call them? Email them? See what they’re up to on Facebook or see what they’ve posted on Twitter? Alcohol does some very strange things to you, and if you’re suffering from a case of unrequited love, it’s never been more so. Before you know it, you’ll be talking to your ex all over social media and making yourself look like a complete and utter fool. This is no way to win the “split war” and in no way make yourself look stupid.
Complete social annihilation might seem like a very extreme step, but when it comes to protecting yourself and your heart during a breakup, it’s a dog-eat-dog world. There is only one person who truly cares for your heart, and that’s it you. If all it takes to make you happier today is to block out that toxic ex and finally stop torturing yourself, what are you waiting for?
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