Do 14 Year Olds Wear Size 5 Womens Or Girls There Is No More Passion And Sex Sucks! Are You With The Wrong Man Or Woman?

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There Is No More Passion And Sex Sucks! Are You With The Wrong Man Or Woman?

Today, it is unusual to find marriages that have lasted more than 10 years, let alone find couples that have been together that long and are still romantically and sexually interested in each other.

Well, ten years may be stretching it.

Recent studies show that sexual passion in most relationships lasts no longer than 18 months. Things start off really hot – the chemistry is strong, compliments are flying all over the place, you take every opportunity to show affection and get as close as possible to each other, you both can’t wait to rip each other’s clothes off, the sex is very exciting and the lovemaking lasts for hours (uh-hm!)

If you’re lucky, this “hot period” will last up to 18 months, but after that, problems with sexual intimacy, especially a lack of sexual passion, become the main problem in the relationship. Sex is simply unpleasant!

If the relationship does not end soon enough, the lack of sexual passion leads to cheating, alcoholism, workaholicism, pornography and other addictions to food, gambling, shopping, etc.

Is it you or he or she?

It’s both of you. Sufficient compatibility for lasting sexual intimacy is a simple requirement that is often overlooked because most of us think that “love” will solve our differences and satisfy all our needs. Many of us are shocked (and disappointed) to discover that it isn’t.

The kind of sexual compatibility I’m talking about here isn’t just about whether the glove fits the hand (if you know what I mean), or whether you both want more/less sex, dominant or submissive, planned or spontaneous. , five star hotels or bush, sitting or standing, muted or split, pump or spin, latex or skin to skin – whatever!

Sufficient sexual compatibility to ensure sustainable sexual passion exists according to a basic principle of justice theory.

What does it mean?

It simply means that sexual passion exists when both partners feel that their input/contribution to the relationship and the benefits/results they receive from the relationship with a particular individual are equal (perceived or otherwise). If one partner believes (thinks or feels) that he or she is contributing more to the relationship than the other, that person is likely to experience resentment, exhaustion, disappointment, resentment, anger, sadness, confusion, and depression. These strong emotions alone kill sexual passion and can end a relationship.

But get this.

Although the person giving and giving is doing so to prove that he or she “loves a lot” (a tactic used by people with very low self-esteem to manipulate and control others), the recipient of this “love over murder” long-term begins to feel guilty, angry, resentful, frustrated, stressed, disgusted and bored. And yes… you guessed right. These strong emotions kill sexual passion and can end a relationship.

At this point, you have to be like… so our relationship has lost the sexual passion and the sex sucks. One of us gives too much and the other too little. We are sexually incompatible. How the hell do I get out of this relationship without hurting my partner’s feelings and/or harming the kids?

If you really love this person (and there are no other problems in the relationship such as abuse, conflicting values, constant conflict, etc.) YOU WILL NOT LEAVE. If it’s just the sexual passion that’s gone, YOU STAY AND BUILD A COMPLIMENTARY RELATIONSHIP where giving and receiving are equal.

There are two steps (that MUST work together) to help you develop sexual passion in your relationship—and to give you good love!

There is a “WHO ARE YOU” part:

The ability to give and receive from your partner or anyone else is all about the relationship you have with yourself. If you don’t have a good relationship with yourself, it will be very difficult for you to determine (on your own) what is too much or too little – at any given moment.

And how do you know if you have a good relationship with yourself?

1. You have a clear and stable sense of self;

2. You know what you want in your relationship and how to get it, and you know how to make sure your partner gets what they want;

3. You can and are willing to stand up for yourself, own your feelings, wants and desires, confidently ask for what you want and say yes or no and say it seriously;

4. You are responsible for yourself, your life and your emotions. This includes not feeling and acting as a victim of other people’s words, feelings and actions;

5. You know your boundaries and do not allow your partner to violate, control, manipulate, take advantage of or take for granted in any way;

6. You realize and have let go of expecting your partner (or others) to meet all of your emotional needs;

7. You are free from fear of rejection or abandonment, including rushing rejection before you are rejected (I always dump them, they never dump me mentality).

8. You are willing to tolerate some level of discomfort for growth and do whatever it takes to live a life based on perfection rather than needs.

And there’s the “WHAT ARE YOU DOING” part:

1. Find out by asking what makes your man or woman feel loved and special. It is VERY important that you know how your man or woman wants to be loved (not what ALL men or ALL women tell you in books and internet articles). When you know how your man or woman wants to be loved, you can give it to him or her—just the way they want it.

2. Create purpose, direction, and order in the relationship that is reasonable, realistic, and healthy for both of you. This should include continued honest communication, intellectually engaging discussions, spending some time together at home, and also some time away from each other. If you can’t stand the thought of your man or woman at night without you, your relationship has serious trust issues or your jealousy is suffocating your man or woman. In any case, please see a counselor/therapist – and fast!

3. Make a conscious commitment every day to acknowledge the positive things your partner says or does—no matter how small or how you feel about them that day. This doesn’t have to be an Oscar night speech, just “thank you for…” or “I appreciate…” will do.

4. Make an agreement (first with yourself and then with your partner) not to criticize, blame or invalidate the other. And when you catch yourself doing it, admit it, apologize, and move on. Taking unresolved emotions to bed is like having a threesome with a really unattractive person (and you don’t even agree with the threesome) or unhygienic group sex (if you’re into it).

5. Try to make yourself sexually attractive to your man or woman every day. As they say, “one man’s poverty is another man’s goodness”, avoid all rules, tricks and techniques. Dress, look and focus on what pleases your man or woman.

6. Flirt and seduce your man or woman every day. Use some of the time you spend reading the newspaper, watching TV, making fun of him or complaining about anything and everything, like learning new “skills” and then turning your man or woman on in an unexpected situation. types.

7. Find common tasks or projects to do together at home or outside. The experience of doing a task or project together provides more than just sitting and talking about mutual support, understanding and acceptance of each other.

8. Find time to plan a little surprise every now and then – a weekend getaway for two, a handwritten love letter, poem or song, complete with flowers, an invitation and gifts. The more spontaneous the better.

9. Make him or her laugh even when there seems to be nothing to laugh about. The ability to make each other laugh and see the funniest, cheesiest, craziest and most absurd side of life is nature’s priceless aphrodisiac. Did I mention natural stress management too.

10. Play with each other and let yourself feel young, free and silly again. Chase each other around the house, tickle him or her until he or she screams with delight, take a bath together, take a walk in the park in the moonlight, take him or her to the car, etc.

11. Protect and guard the privacy you have with your man or woman. Telling your girlfriends or “boyfriends” everything about your relationship, especially the intimate sexual details, is not only adolescent, but also stupid. It devalues ​​the man or woman you are and raises questions about your worth and integrity.

12. Take care of your spiritual self (whatever that means to you). How you deal with the spiritual aspect of your life as an individual and as a couple determines your level of joy, contentment and capacity for love.

13. Enjoy as many sexual intimate moments as possible. No joke! It makes a lot of difference. And it’s not just the act of sex, but the whole practice of being constantly affectionate in many different ways – touching, kissing, holding, hugging, back rubs, massages, etc.

Sustained sexual excitement and good sex do not come cheap.

If there is no all-encompassing deep satisfaction and fulfillment, there is no sexual passion, and you won’t get it anytime soon.

But if you can keep the passion in your relationship—no matter what problems your relationship is facing—almost everything else can be solved. Even relationships that have ended can be revived by learning to create sufficient sexual compatibility that ensures unquenchable sexual passion.

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