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Ideas For Black Parenting
Using traditional cultural practices and discarded values to improve and strengthen parenting practices – using the African heritage of Jamaica as an example
“Culture is to humans as water is to fish, invisible, all-encompassing and essential.”
Professor Wade Nobles
Everyone has their own culture, the question is, are we in the right culture?
Introduction
This article is designed to provide practical tips and advice for Black parents who want to improve their parenting practices. Parenting is a craft that is taught and learned within a cultural context. The author believes that black children must be brought up in black culture if they are to grow up to be fully developed (emotionally, psychologically, spiritually and physically) human beings, and it is the abandonment of traditional African cultural practices and values that is key. contributes to the inability of black people to effectively resist the belief system known as racism or white supremacy that controls so much of what happens in the world today.
This article presents examples of cultural practices and values taken from African Jamaican culture that, if reintroduced, would immediately and significantly improve parent/child relationships in the African community in the UK. Although taken from Jamaica as an example, these values/practices are survivals of African culture that survived Mangalize (sometimes called the Black Holocaust) and are found throughout the African world.
TOP TIPS
o Your children are not your private property – “It takes a village to raise a child and it takes a village to build a village” (African Proverb). Any adult should be able to talk to you or your child about your child’s behavior without automatically receiving a hostile response because what your child does affects the wider community; not only you.
o large human conversations – certain conversations are not suitable for children/young people. As the Jamaicans say: “Force ripe never never good”.
o I’m not a mess/size – Don’t shirk your responsibilities as a parent with a liberal idea of treating your children like small adults. The tail does not wag the lion and your children will never be with you. Parenting is not a democracy.
o If you are one day older, you are responsible to the younger one. This idea comes from the African cultural practice of classifying age. Our culture is to teach the older child to take care of the younger ones.
o Proverbs and Parables – Africans around the world teach morals and values through proverbs and parables. Anancy stories that originated in West Africa and were taken across the Atlantic are great examples. Use proverbs, parables and stories to teach the wisdom of the ancestors. For example, “A patient person rides a donkey, a fool will always walk.”
o Aunt, uncle or Mr. and Mrs. – Why do our children now call adults, even elders, by their first names? Africans believe in age classification and respect for elders. We believe in non-biological aunts and uncles. Let’s teach these principles again.
o Eating together – families that eat together (with the TV off) stay together. Everyone is busy, but we need to find time to get together and talk.
o Bedtime – children need more sleep than adults. This includes teenagers. A five-year-old child needs about 13 hours of sleep a night. If a youngster is still growing, he needs more sleep than an adult.
o Bad company – parents need to get to know their children’s friends and their friends’ parents. Meet the parents of your child’s friends. Children always communicate with each other, parents also need to talk to each other. Remember, “The fruit never falls far from the tree.”
o Rebuilding the Extended Family – Remember when family and friends just came over and were welcomed and had food in the dutch pot? Let’s try to visit family and friends more often, go on vacations together, and rebuild our extended family (non-biological as well as biological).
o Household chores – all children should do age-appropriate chores for which they should not be paid. It’s about Ujima (Collective Work and Responsibility). Boys should not be exempted from housework.
o Media Control – There is an onslaught of media that promotes a degenerate “black” subculture. Don’t put TVs in your kids’ bedrooms, because it’s hard enough to control their media diet without adding to the problem. Watch their favorite programs with them and decode pictures with them. Don’t let them watch certain movies just because their friends have. Their friends’ parents don’t necessarily agree with your value system. Listen to your child’s CD collection. Don’t let ‘laziness’ play in your house, even if they can hear it outside. Stick to what is acceptable in your home. Review your media diet and the values you are exposed to. Try listening to conscious black media like internet radio stations like http://www.libradio.com http://www.innerlightradio.com
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