Cool Place For A 10 Year Old Girl To Visit Raising Effective Teens – Can You Talk to Your Teen?

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Raising Effective Teens – Can You Talk to Your Teen?

Can you talk to your teenager? Are they ignoring you, blocking you? How many times has the conversation turned into yelling? There are ways to talk to your teen and get them to listen. Over the years I have found a couple of simple techniques that I have used over and over again, working with my teenagers and even their friends.

First, be available when your teen wants to tell you something. I don’t mean to put the day and time on your calendar. Being available simply means stopping what you’re doing and giving your teen your undivided attention. If the conversation seems like it might be long, turn off the TV, go to the bedroom or out on the porch to talk. You can’t give your full attention when there’s a TV blaring in the back.

Okay, now you’re on the porch looking at each other, now what? Start by not being judgmental. I bet you think I would never judge my child. This step is easier said than done. You will start listening or doing what you think of as listening, making good eye contact, sitting in front of each other, and so on. Then your teenager tells you some shocking news about their best friend, girlfriend or even themselves. Your mind starts working, you can feel your heart pounding in your head, and words start coming out of your mouth on their own. Stop there! I am telling you here not to be judgmental. Don’t question what your teen just told you. Do not search for information about his boyfriend or anything related to your teen. Just listen. Any outward reaction on your part will stop your teenager in an instant, and you will no longer be able to be around him. Let him finish his story, give his opinion or ask you questions. In the meantime, breathe deeply to keep calm and keep your head from exploding.

Maybe your teen needs your advice. Honesty, objective answers and a calm voice work well together here. Don’t raise your voice when expressing your opinion because your teen will think you’re yelling at them. You might be angry about what you just heard, but now is not the time to show it. Please express your opinion honestly, but do not exaggerate. If your teen doesn’t understand your point, explain why. Help him understand your position and don’t say, “Because I told you so” or “Because I’m older.” Those phrases don’t work. This only creates animosity between you and your teenager, and he will never seek your advice again. You may need to protect your teen by giving biased answers. Your teen may see right through you and turn to someone else for a more honest answer. Don’t risk your teen getting bad advice from a kid who sells drugs at school or a kid on probation.

Start taking these few steps when your kids are around 10-12 years old and it will help you and your teen communicate before problems arise. The more you practice talking to your teenager, the more he will come to you with his problems and dreams. You might even get to know the young person living in your house.

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