Can Your Girl Friemd Meet Up With Old Guy Friends The Psychology of Friendship & Success

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The Psychology of Friendship & Success

One of the main reasons most people fail to achieve their ultimate goals and dreams in life is because they are emotionally and psychologically ill-equipped to deal with the loneliness and isolation required to reach the next level of success. When your friends call and ask you to go to the movies, grab a bite to eat, or hang out at your favorite club, you’ll be forced to decide if hanging out with them is the best use of your time considering you have 2 exams and a research paper during the week. Most of us will make the wrong decision many times before we do what is ultimately best for our goals.

I will tell you a secret. When you’re in between stages to reach the next level of success, it’s likely that family and friends will isolate you. You are psychologically in a cocoon. Listen carefully so that you understand what is happening to you. There are many habits from your old lifestyle that you must break before you can move to the next level. For example, if you often partied late into the morning, drank too much alcohol, or had too many sexual partners, these habits may prevent you from focusing on your academic or career goals with the same degree of intensity. which is necessary for success.

Like most people, you will initially struggle with the “old you” and the “new you” trying to emerge. Instead of turning down your friend’s invitations to go out and hang out, you’ll say yes and wake up the next morning thinking to yourself, “Why the hell did I go out last night?” Now, people who are already where you want to be won’t be attractive to be friends with you yet. These people are serious. They are much further along the road to success. They are not interested in people or activities that prevent them from achieving their goals. When you psychologically become one of them, you will open new doors of friendship to welcome you. It’s not so much that these people are your friends as it says. it’s just that you have the same psyche of interests and experiences, and you will be able to communicate and discuss issues that are important to each other.

Here are some points to consider as you try to keep your friendships on the road to achieving your dreams:

1. True friendships never die, they may seem to fade away during periods of major change, but remember that this is a necessary transition to give you the space you need to grow. A true friendship will stand the test of time as you adjust to your new role in life. Don’t let any idea of ​​what you should be or how you should act stop you from making the changes you need to make your dreams come true.

2. When you reconnect with your old friends, it will never be the same. Friendship will preserve the most important roots that connect you, for example, the opportunity to share your most intimate secrets or play poker. The love will remain pure, but you will enjoy your time together as well as apart.

3. As women, we tell other women too much about our personal, intimate, private business. Within days of meeting, we talk about the size and shape of our partner’s penis, how often we have sex, every little detail in conversations with our loved ones, and how much we hate our bodies. As a psychologist, I know that women’s brains are hardwired to share secrets and gossip, but in order to compete in the business arena, we must learn to separate our personal lives from our professional lives. Keeping an emotional distance from others will allow us to get along much better as acquaintances and business partners. I can’t count the times I didn’t need to expose my midriff when trying to fit in or meet a new acquaintance.

4. Loyalty, honesty, trust and kindness take time to develop in any relationship, and friendship is no exception to the rule. Don’t make the mistake of expecting too much from a friendship too soon. Sharing an interest in yoga, book club, or salsa dancing doesn’t mean that person should trust you with the key to your house or know the intimate details of your new romance. When you share personal information with the wrong person, you give them ammunition to make it harder to achieve your goals.

5. Be aware that the interests that make you and your friends “friends” can also make you and your friend mortal enemies. Friends usually find the same type of guy attractive, like the same taste in clothes, and have similar career interests or opportunities. For example, let’s say you and your friend meet the same great guy at the same time, but he chooses your friend over you. They get married, have children and live happily ever after in la la land. Can you really be happy for him? If you are truly happy with your life and who you are, you might be happy with your boyfriend; otherwise, you may experience feelings of jealousy and insecurity. If you and your friend apply to graduate school and your friend gets accepted and you get rejected, it will affect your friendship.

6. Friends sometimes unintentionally sabotage your success. Some people believe that if you want to lose weight and develop an exercise routine, the best thing to do is to buddy up. I personally think this is a huge mistake. If you start losing weight and your friend doesn’t, she may start discouraging you from exercising by suggesting other activities. If your friend isn’t doing well at school, they may use creative ways to distract you from studying. Unfortunately, if your friend has trouble maintaining or attracting a loving relationship, she may do and say negative things to undermine your relationship with your spouse.

7. Friends may feel awkward in friendship when roles change; if you become an ugly, stupid or fat friend, your friend may feel awkward. If your boyfriend has always been the one to get a man’s attention and suddenly you become the “hottie”, trust me, this change will affect the friendship. If the friendship is true, your friend will adjust and your bond will grow even stronger.

8. Be aware of friends who are envious or jealous of your ambition and success. I have found that most people are not consciously aware of their insecurities or motives to destroy you and ultimately the friendship. But remember that on your way to success you will inadvertently leave people behind. As you grow and develop, many people will become insecure about the ties that bind their relationship to you. Your friends don’t know their role or where they fit into your new life, and in many cases this insecurity will cause them to do and say things that will hurt you in an effort to keep the friendship alive.

9. Don’t be afraid to let go of friends and family who can’t accept and respect the person you’ve blossomed into now. You will find friends from your past who will only want to talk about the good old days when you were drunk, broke, broken and depressed. You will know them because they will often say, “Remember when…” As much as it hurts, you have to cut people out of your life who refuse to see not only the old but also the new. I had a former best friend say to me, “Sandy, who do you think you are? You’re just a poor black girl from Detroit with a GED who thinks she’s somebody. I can’t wait for you to see it. You’re nobody special and know your place in life.

10. Your friends, your friends, the people you hang out with, or whatever you want to call them, are the truest reflection of who you are and what you think about yourself. If you surround yourself with untrustworthy people, it’s because you feel you deserve their friendship. You don’t choose your family, but you definitely choose your friends. The most important thing is to take a deep, soulful look at yourself. Would you like yourself as a friend? Do you tell secrets that your friends beg you not to? Do you flirt with your friends’ husbands or boyfriends? Are you deeply jealous of your friend’s success or happiness? To have a true friend, you must be a true friend. Know yourself. If you are not happy and confident in who you are, it will be very difficult for you to find true friendship.

11. An honest, loyal, true friend is a person who is satisfied with himself, confident and has extremely high self-esteem. People who live their dreams and are true to their calling become the best of friends.

12. Finally, my brother General George always says, (and I agree with him) men always discover their knife before they stab with it. Listen and pay close attention to what your friends say and do. If she betrays another friend, it is an indicator that she will betray you too. Very rarely are we surprised by someone’s behavior.

13. Sometimes the universe, life, or God (whatever concept resonates with your spirit) will isolate you from other people to allow you to focus on your life’s purpose. What may be perceived as jealousy or discord are really “spiritual events” used to remove social and emotional disturbances from your life. In the purest and deepest spiritual sense, no one is to blame when a relationship fails. Your friend can no longer accompany you on the road to success. They’re not destined to go where you’re going, but that doesn’t mean they were never meant to be a part of your life and who you ultimately become as a person. Always be positive and wish them well.

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