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Suicide and the Cyberbully

Bullying used to mean taking lunch or getting a bloody nose after school. Today, however, bullying has become high-tech. “Cyberbullying” is when a child, teenager or adolescent is bullied, threatened, harassed, humiliated, embarrassed or otherwise targeted using the internet, interactive and digital technologies or mobile phones. With their identities hidden behind computer screens, cyberbullies can be harder to catch and sometimes more daring than their playground forebears. Unfortunately, children have even killed themselves after becoming victims of cyberbullying. More recently, several teenagers have been charged with crimes in the high-profile case of 15-year-old Phoebe Prince of South Hadley, Massachusetts. The young woman committed suicide in January after suffering relentless bullying – “cyber” and otherwise – from her classmates.

Researchers from the University of California, Los Angeles (UCLA) report that approximately one in four young people has been involved in some form of bullying. Bullies are considered popular and their victims are at increased risk of suicide. Both the bully and the victim can suffer from depression, the number one cause of suicide. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), suicide is the third leading cause of death for 15- to 24-year-olds. Teenage boys are more likely to commit suicide than girls. The CDC study also showed that 14.5 percent of US high school students reported having seriously considered suicide in the year before the survey, and 6.9 percent said they had attempted suicide one or more times during the same period. Tragically, many children who have been bullied take their own lives.

Cyberbullying is expected to increase as more children use texting and email as their means of communication. Sue Limber and Robin Kowalski, researchers and teachers at Clemson University in South Carolina, recently completed a study of 3,767 6th-8th graders. class students. Some of their findings include:

• The most common form of cyberbullying is instant messaging
• Chats and emails were close behind
• Girls were twice as likely to be victims as boys

i-Safe has surveyed 1,500 4th – 8th grade students. Their alarming statistics show:

• 42% of children have been bullied online. 1 in 4 it has happened more than once.
• 35% of children are at risk online. Almost 1 in 5 have had it happen more than once.
• 21% of children have received malicious or threatening emails or other messages.
• 58% of children admit that someone has said mean or hurtful things to them online. More than 4 in 10 say it has happened more than once.
• 53% of children admit to having said something mean or hurtful to another person online. More than 1 in 3 have done it more than once.
• 58% have not told their parents or an adult about something mean or hurtful that happened to them online.

It is important for parents to recognize if their child is a bully and/or a victim. Brandy Williams, a Texas public school educator and counselor, lists the signs of both cyberbullying and cyberbullying victim.

Signs that your child is a cyberbully

• Uses the computer around the clock.
• Quickly switch screens and/or close windows when you arrive.
• The child is unusually upset when he cannot use the computer.
• Avoids discussing what they are doing online.
• Laughs excessively while using the computer.
• Gets irritated if you question them or interrupt their computer work.

Signs that your child is being bullied

• Unexpectedly or suddenly stops using the computer.
• Appear nervous, jumpy, excited, or scared when an instant message appears.
• Loses interest in attending school, extracurriculars, and/or general outdoor activities
• Being visibly angry, frustrated, depressed, or angry after using the computer
• Becomes unusually withdrawn and withdrawn from family, friends, and favorite activities
• Lack of appetite with food in general and special beneficial foods

The following is indicated Cyberbullying tips for your children:

• Tell a trusted adult about the bullying and keep telling until you find someone who takes action.
• Do not open or read messages from cyberbullies.
• Tell your school teacher or administrator if it is school related.
• Do not delete messages – they may be needed to perform actions.
• Protect yourself: Never agree to meet face-to-face with anyone you meet online.
• Bullying can often be blocked by “bullying” via chat or instant messaging.
• If you are at risk of harm, notify your local police.

It is important that adults become active in influencing change against cyberbullying. Often no action is taken until the situation is completely out of control. Children often do not want to trust their parents for fear of retaliation, ie losing their “cyber privileges”. Cyberbullying deserves punishment for its actions. Steps may be taken to collect chat session timestamps and IP addresses. Computer hard drives can be searched to find hidden IP addresses and chat log entries. It is possible to gather enough information to present to the school and law enforcement officials to press charges. Professional help should also be considered, as the incidence of depression is increasing among both the bully and the victim. A psychologist can offer children a safe haven to discuss their fears and concerns. Ultimately, this could save the lives of both the cyber bully and the cyber victim.

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