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How to Flirt With Men
Flirting with men is so fun and so easy. So why don’t we? A man recently wrote to me that it’s true that flirting is a great way for women to attract men, but he’s “yet to experience it from a woman, it sure is fun!”
Men LOVE it when women flirt with them! They love the fun aspect: the playful banter, the eye contact dance, and the sheer joy of the unexpected surprise.
Best of all, flirting is extremely flattering. It shows an interest in another person, even if this interest is not romantic in nature. The best flirts know how to make the other person feel special without expecting anything in return.
If you’re looking to improve your flirting skills with men, here are three tips that will put you in a SUPER flirting mindset.
1. Flirting is playful, not serious.
When you compliment a man, are you flirting? If you make eye contact, is that considered flirting? If a stranger teased you when you went to a bar, was he flirting? So what exactly IS flirting?
Flirt stands out for its playful nature. You can’t be a serious flirt. Remember how the boys teased you in grade school and you teased them back? It’s the kind of playful spirit you want to invoke when flirting (although I don’t recommend pulling anyone’s braids!).
A flirting encounter usually involves three elements:
- Humor (or wit),
- Risk, and
- Showing interest.
For example, a witty comment is one of the most common ways to start flirting with someone, but if you’re the first to make a move, you’re putting yourself at risk of rejection. If your flirtatious comment crosses the line, you also run the risk that the other person may find your sense of humor amusing.
Newbie flirts can be uncomfortable putting themselves in a vulnerable position by showing interest in another person without knowing if that person will even respond. That’s why the next point is so important.
2. Best flirting practice for everyone.
You will never become a great flirt if you only flirt with men you like. Flirting is one of life’s greatest joys and should be practiced whenever possible. Flirt with the waiter in the cafe. Flirt with the bus driver. Flirt with the old man standing behind you in line.
When flirting becomes a part of your everyday life, rather than a specialized skill that you apply only when you meet your potential Mr. Perfect, you’ll find that the magic begins to happen. You make friends more easily. You become the life of the party. It’s easier for you to start a conversation with strangers.
Best of all, if flirting comes naturally to you, you’ll no longer feel awkward when facing a handsome man you want to get to know better. You’ll feel confident knowing that other people have enjoyed your flirting. You won’t even have time to be nervous, because your flirting skills will kick in and start the conversation for you.
But being the best flirt in the world won’t protect you from the one thing every flirt has to face: rejection.
3. Don’t take rejection personally.
The only surefire way to kill the spirit of flirting is to see it in terms of success and failure. As I said before, your goal is simply to make the other person feel special without expecting anything in return. If the other person doesn’t want to respond to your comment or winks, it’s no more devastating than a playmate saying they don’t want to play right now.
Fortunately, your chances of rejection are less than you think. Most people go through life wanting to be more connected to others. When we’re standing in a crowded elevator or standing in line at a busy store, most of us want someone to start a conversation with us. It can be really nice to meet someone new, even if our conversation only lasts a few minutes.
Think of your flirting as an offer: you’re offering someone a hookup, and if they don’t want to take it, you just offer it to the next person.
Unfortunately, the art of flirting has diminished so much that many people don’t know what to do when someone flirts with them. They may feel uncomfortable and turn away or ignore a flirtatious look or comment because they have no idea what they should do.
If you keep a playful mindset when flirting and practice it whenever and wherever you can, you’ll find that your fear of rejection will dissipate until you no longer remember why you let it stop you from making the first move.
For further discussion of flirting tacticslook no further How to be irresistible to men. Sarah Paul’s original eBook will teach you how to use flirting to take your interactions with a man to the next level. You will also learn how to be funny, how to master the art of conversation and how to compliment a man. It’s everything you need to know about flirting in a simple, step-by-step format. And it’s all part of perfection How to be irresistible to men a course that includes tips on how to kiss and how to overcome the shyness that can get in the way of flirting with men.
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