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As someone who was a gifted child, I can definitely write about what it’s like to be different from everyone else. I graduated from high school – with a so-called academic diploma – and entered college at the age of fifteen.
I definitely didn’t belong there. The only reason I was able to get through high school at that age was because I have an older sister. Her friends accepted me. Otherwise, I had very few friends in my class. I was two to three years younger than any of them. It didn’t hurt that I was considered very beautiful. Otherwise I would have been an outsider, a geek with no friends, no one to “talk” to, to socialize with. I probably would have become a high school dropout.
Since I was a psychic (an unknown term then), people were also a little afraid of me. I could read their thoughts and emotions. Now put it all together, a psychic who reads thoughts and emotions, a highly intelligent person, and someone who was years younger than her classmates.
Why am I writing all this? As more and more children are born with these abilities, and if parents and teachers don’t understand what these children are feeling and going through, we will have more suicides and school shootings. These children need to be understood and helped to understand why they are different and why they have gifts. Yes, these abilities are gifts and too many believe they are curses. Every child wants to be accepted. This is the essence of the species – to be accepted in a social society.
Every teenager – gifted or not – feels different and somehow inferior to any other teenager. Allow the reader to reminisce about their teenage years. Let the reader remember how they felt different and not accepted by others. Very few teenagers are in the ‘popular’ group. Even those who are considered popular have their insecurities. I see it in my granddaughter. She’s beautiful, and I’m not saying that like her grandmother. She is popular but still feels insecure. She doesn’t know if people like her or her looks. She is also very sensitive. If someone says something negative to her, she cries and wonders why that person doesn’t like her.
Gifted children have friends in their age group. When they’re sped up, those friends are left behind and they have to find new ones. It is not easy. The more they are accelerated to higher grades, the harder it is to find friends. Boys have it harder than girls, although girls don’t have it easy.
I was lucky because I had good teachers. My teachers cared about their students, all of them. Now things are a little different. Teachers fear their students. I have one teacher in particular in mind and I really hope she is an exception.
This teacher believes that some children are born evil. She also believes that every child who commits a crime should go to prison. If the crime is committed when that child is nine or older, that child must go to an adult prison. Yes, she advocates sending a nine-year-old to an adult prison. Now imagine if this teacher had a gifted student in her class. A gifted student will automatically be marked as different from the rest of the class. Would she be able to help this student find something interesting, or would she automatically see this student as a troublemaker and mark him as belonging in prison?
Because a child is gifted, parents usually encourage that child to accelerate. Parents expect the child to fulfill his potential. Sometimes a parent pushes a child too hard. Every child needs breathing room, and expecting a gifted child to achieve straight A’s is putting too much pressure on that child.
A gifted child will not automatically cover every subject. It also depends on how the child is taught. My IQ was tested and I was 168. That’s pretty high. IQ simply means how that person perceives concepts. I couldn’t grasp the concept of chemistry even though I was very good at maths.
The only reason I mention this is because we all have different items that we speed up. Don’t expect a gifted child to be able to accelerate every subject they learn. I know a mother who told her girls that math is too hard for girls to understand. She also told her children that the moon was a planet, but it was nearby. Because she kept saying that math was too hard for girls, her highly intelligent girls had trouble understanding math. The teachers did not help them. Until they realized that their problem was because their mother had basically drilled them in from an early age, they had trouble with math. Once they realized where the problem was coming from, they started speeding up.
When a child is told that he does not understand something, he will not automatically understand it. When a child is pushed too hard to speed up, he (or she) will automatically fail. If a parent has neglected or ignored a child, any child, the child will rebel against everything and everyone. Once gifted children are ostracized, this insecurity will follow them throughout their lives.
Accept our children as they are. If they stand out with something – great. If they do not, look for the reason for this failure. Children are not born stupid. They simply know less than adults because adults have been around much longer and have learned more. Every child is precious. Every child has some remarkable ability. Help your child find it. Encourage – don’t dismiss – each child to reach his (or her) true potential.
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