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I Never Hated the One True God, But the God of the People I Hated
I am not a religious man by any measure, in fact far from it. As a child my mother and step father were very much into religion. My step father and his family were devout Mormons. For those of you unfamiliar with Mormons, they like most people are genuine good willed people spreading the word of Jesus and Christianity across the globe. You can often spot a Mormon missionary; they are the guys in white Lowes Men’s Wear style cut button up shirts with a nice little black name bar slipped into the breast pocket, black trousers riding a mountain bike.
My mother met my stepfather when I was 9, and my religious orientation followed shortly after. I learnt all about Jesus Christ, Joseph Smith and his book and everything else that is the Church of Jesus Christ of Ladder Day Saints. I was baptised by my step uncle, washed cleaned of all the evil sins a then 11 year old has to bear and was well on my way to salvation. I walked to walk and talked the talked, I even sported the youth ring “CTR” standing for ‘Choose The Right’. I did speeches, could resight passages from both the Bible and book of Mormon and had my favourite characters from times of old.
However, in the fashion of the Bible ‘it came to pass’ that an extremely personal and life changing event occurred at a level of barbarity that no child should ever face from any portion of the globe. It was not I who incurred this evilness but my brother and sister, and a heightened sense of self and humanity quickly followed as best a then 14 year old can summon to conjure. On that day I lost God.
For many years I shunned religion and used my limited scientific knowledge to de-bunk the preachings of any religion Christian or other. It became my stand point that any “God” would not allow the barbarity that occurs upon this earth to happen to his beloved children, and I certainly did not accept the concept the trial by tribulation. Ironically, I began to become fairly spiritual in a sense of self ‘Karate Kid’ kind of way. I developed a unique fascination for Asia, the works of Bruce Lee from a philosophical perspective and the culture and rituals behind Japan and China at large.
As the years passed by my anger at “God” slowly subsided and I began to again allow the possibility of the existence of a greater being. However, my take on things were and remain very custom upon my own beliefs. The lyrics of one song by controversial musician Marilyn Manson comes to mind, the line to mention is; “I never hated the one true God, but the God of the people I hated”. For me, this stands very true.
The concept of the universe is to great for me to understand as it is for the collective agreement of men of science, religion and philosophy. All agree there must be something else beyond what we know, but that is where agreement ends. Many years ago my mother sent to me in the post a DVD called ‘The Secret’. The overall concept of the material delivered is simple; ‘The Law of Attraction’. One of the most supported methods for the successful use of The Law of Attraction is to show gratitude for everything you can in your life, to be in your power, turn the other cheek, remain positive and optimistic. For me this strung a chord, yet I did not know how to implement any of the techniques briefly mentioned in ‘The Secret.’
Then, early 2009 I was at sea on an Australian war ship, cruising to New Zealand for a little bit of R n R. It was mid evening probably around 8 pm or there about. It was a still night, the ocean flat as glass, the only ripple left from our wake as we slowly steamed along, the dull harmonic and rhythmic drone of the giant 6 diesel engines churning away far below. As I looked at to the horizon, the ocean was illuminated in a magical brilliance from the moon making a ‘V’ shape from us until infinity. I could see all the stars that are, in the night sky above, it is almost like looking at bright clouds spread across the sky as if they were handful clumps of sand tossed about playfully by the unknowing hand of a toddler.
As I stood alone on the upper decks, with a beautiful night in hand and the nursing embrace of the engine drone I thought about this great big universe, its creation since the dawn of time, evolution of man, Charles Darwin and where it is all heading. I thought over evolution, religion and the Law of Attraction and how it might all fit together. I had once read many years earlier that prisoners of war (POWs) who believed in ‘a God’ had dramatically higher survival rates, I simply put this down as to have a faith would pull you through and prevent depression, even if it were drop bears that were the faith.
But on this night, I felt a sense of completion as if a universal honest had struck upon me. Now I know this might be all a little bit controversial, but I have come to my own realisation for what I want to believe is out there. When I lost God all those years earlier a driving factor in that was the religious clause “its God’s will”, this did not sit well with me. If man was put on earth and given free will, why would ‘God’ need to have a will, implying becoming involved in what was occurring, and if he were becoming involved, even though he maybe God, what right did he have to pick and choose whom he helped and leave others to desperation but seemingly help every other celebrity to receive a Golden Globe or Grammy award?
My solution was simple; if there is a God then I found him that night in tranquillity on the high seas. I believe there is a greater force at work, there is a purpose, but I don’t believe that what ever is out there exactly is medalling for the sake of “its will”. I don’t think it banishes a person for not accepting salvation and religion into their lives, nor do I think it washes away barbaric sins simply because the perpetrator seeks forgiveness. I believe that if a person lives a good clean honest life, helps and respects others, shows gratitude, then good things will come to pass. Call it karma if you like, ying and yang, what goes around comes around.
So that night I found God, my God. God being something beyond my comprehension, be it the power of the universe and since I have accepted this and the Law of Attraction into my life, I can tell you, life is grand! That night was early 2009. I have since started a business; I founded Lifestyle Ingenuity after having many other personal revelations. I am an associate of an American company Lifepath Unlimited which deals in providing life changing, soul searching personal development products which I have used.
So I found my God on the high seas, a God I could believe in, one who is not out for power or money, one who has an invested interest in all things, not just the rich and famous, one who lives in the heart and soul of all creations, not just the King, Queen or Pope. Don’t get me wrong, having a religion is good, and you are free to believe what it is your heart desires. However, take a moment to think about all the tribes, bush men and out back people spread across all the lands of earth, I can not believe that God would forsake them for not taking him into their lives when circumstances are beyond their control and prevent such opportunities. So it is my personal opinion and belief that there is a God, but unlike to what is documented. So I feel much like Marilyn Manson said, “I never hated the one true God, but the God of the people I hated”. All said and done, if you are a good honest person with morals and values, you are alright in my book and it does not matter to me what religion you follow if any at all.
This has been an interesting topic to discuss and positive discussion envoking comments are appreciated. Good luck with the future and God Bless!
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